Some people think that arts (for example, music or painting) don't directly improve people's wellbeing, and therefore the goverment should spend money on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Many
people
especially think that arts do not give any benefits to improve people
's wellbeing. It has been considered that Government should spend their tax payers
budget on other things Correct your spelling
taxpayers
such
as technology , education and health care systems. I tend to disagree to
Change preposition
with
this
diea
and I will explain my idea in Correct your spelling
idea
this
essay .
First and foremost , there are numerous number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
assume
that arts mean only paintings . Correct pronoun usage
who assume
Moreover
in this
modern world
in AI
era , Add an article
the AI
People
are worried that companies and organisations will not recruit any artist
. Fix the agreement mistake
artists
This
is one of the reason
, Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
think that art
does not give any benefit to their life .
In my opinion , art
does not mean only paining
. Correct your spelling
painting
Art
can be described under many catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
such
as music
, painting and writing . Every schools
in the Change to a singular noun
school
world
, they
always provide Correct pronoun usage
apply
art
class
with a Fix the agreement mistake
classes
varieties
of painting supplies . Even the Correct the article-noun agreement
variety
aged
of 3 to 4 years old children have to learn how to paint . Painting keeps the children calm down and Replace the word
ages
help
them to concentrate more . Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
Moreover
,painting enhances their creativity . Holding brush
, looking at the canvas and thinking Correct article usage
a brush
idea
at the same time help the children multitask . Fix the agreement mistake
ideas
This
help
achieve a lot of things in their lives.
Another form of Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
art
is music
,music
can make people
happy and help when they are under stressed
. Dancing with Change the form of the verb
stress
music
increases physical workout and burns fat and calories . A good example of art
and workout is Zumba which has been recognised as physical
workout and Correct article usage
a physical
well known
program .
In Add a hyphen
well-known
modern
Add an article
the modern
world
, there has been huge
demand for designers with a strong sold of artistic mind to attract the audience in digital marketing . Since Add an article
a huge
art
is an emotion and creativity , AI can not replace it .
Therefore
,above my explained ideas , I believe that art
plays vital
role in the Add an article
a vital
world
. People
should not consider art
as a waste of time and energy . Art
can not be replaced and
reproduced . Correct word choice
or
Governent
should help Correct your spelling
Government
artist
by providing grants and funds for their creativity. Add an article
the artist
Government
Add an article
The government
also
should strictly regulate the law for their copyright too
. Rephrase
apply
This
prevent
artist well being and Change the verb form
prevents
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
community
grow better and safer .Add an article
the community
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Spelling and Grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammar. Small errors such as 'paining' instead of 'painting', or 'diea' instead of 'idea', can distract from the clarity of your message.
Language Use
Enhance your argument with diverse sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to keep the reader engaged and to demonstrate your language skills more fully.
Essay Structure
Consider structuring your essay with a clearer division between paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of your argument. This assists in improving the logical flow and readability.
Use of Examples
Engaging use of specific examples, such as the mention of Zumba, to illustrate points about the benefits of art.
Task Response
Successful in addressing the prompt by providing a clear stance and substantiating the argument with well-developed points.
Introduction/Conclusion
Effective use of an introductory and a concluding paragraph, setting the tone and summarizing the argument convincingly.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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