Some people think that arts (for example, music or painting) don't directly improve people's wellbeing, and therefore the goverment should spend money on other things. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Many
people
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especially think that arts do not give any benefits to improve
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's wellbeing. It has been considered that Government should spend their
tax payers
Correct your spelling
taxpayers

The word tax payers seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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budget on other things
such
Linking Words

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as technology , education and health care systems. I tend to disagree
to
Change preposition
with

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this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

diea
Correct your spelling
idea

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and I will explain my idea in
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay . First and foremost , there are numerous
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply

It seems that quantifier use may be incorrect here.

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people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

assume
Correct pronoun usage
who assume

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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that arts mean only paintings .
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

modern
world
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in
AI
Add an article
the AI

The noun phrase AI era seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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era ,
People
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are worried that companies and organisations will not recruit any
artist
Fix the agreement mistake
artists

It seems that artist may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is one of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons

It seems that reason may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

think that
art
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does not give any benefit to their life . In my opinion ,
art
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does not mean only
paining
Correct your spelling
painting

The word paining doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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.
Art
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can be described under many
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories

If you don’t want catagories to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, painting and writing . Every
schools
Change to a singular noun
school

The singular quantifier Every is followed by the plural noun schools. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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in the
world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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always provide
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

class
Fix the agreement mistake
classes

It seems that class may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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with a
varieties
Correct the article-noun agreement
variety

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun varieties in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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of painting supplies . Even the
aged
Replace the word
ages

The word aged doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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of 3 to 4 years old children have to learn how to paint . Painting keeps the children calm down and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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them to concentrate more .
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,painting enhances their creativity . Holding
brush
Correct article usage
a brush

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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, looking at the canvas and thinking
idea
Fix the agreement mistake
ideas

It seems that idea may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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at the same time help the children multitask .
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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achieve a lot of things in their lives.  Another form of
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can make
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

happy and help when they are under
stressed
Change the form of the verb
stress

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb stressed. Consider changing it.

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. Dancing with
music
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

increases physical workout and burns fat and calories . A good example of
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and workout is Zumba which has been recognised as
physical
Correct article usage
a physical

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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workout and
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known

It appears that well known is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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program . In
modern
Add an article
the modern

The noun phrase modern world seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, there has been
huge
Add an article
a huge

The noun phrase huge demand seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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demand for designers with a strong sold of artistic mind to attract the audience in digital marketing . Since
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is an emotion and creativity , AI can not replace it .
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,above my explained ideas , I believe that
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

plays
vital
Add an article
a vital

The noun phrase vital role seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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role in the
world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
People
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

should not consider
art
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as a waste of time and energy .
Art
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can not be replaced
and
Correct word choice
or

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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reproduced .
Governent
Correct your spelling
Government

If you don’t want Governent to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

should help
artist
Add an article
the artist

The noun phrase artist seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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by providing grants and funds for their creativity.
Government
Add an article
The government

The noun phrase Government seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

should strictly regulate the law for their copyright
too
Rephrase
apply

There may be an adverb issue here.

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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

prevent
Change the verb form
prevents

The plural verb prevent does not appear to agree with the singular subject This. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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artist well being and
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps

It seems that the verb help does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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community
Add an article
the community

The noun phrase community seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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grow better and safer .

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Spelling and Grammar
Be mindful of spelling and grammar. Small errors such as 'paining' instead of 'painting', or 'diea' instead of 'idea', can distract from the clarity of your message.
Language Use
Enhance your argument with diverse sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary to keep the reader engaged and to demonstrate your language skills more fully.
Essay Structure
Consider structuring your essay with a clearer division between paragraphs, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct aspect of your argument. This assists in improving the logical flow and readability.
Use of Examples
Engaging use of specific examples, such as the mention of Zumba, to illustrate points about the benefits of art.
Task Response
Successful in addressing the prompt by providing a clear stance and substantiating the argument with well-developed points.
Introduction/Conclusion
Effective use of an introductory and a concluding paragraph, setting the tone and summarizing the argument convincingly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • wellbeing
  • therapeutic
  • stress reduction
  • social cohesion
  • cultural identity
  • critical thinking
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • minimal budget allocation
  • public spending priorities
  • long-term impacts
  • cultural heritage
  • diversity
  • understanding
What to do next:
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