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Writing Samples /
Band 3

The barchart below shows the hours per week that teenagers spend doing certain activities in Chester from 2002 to 2007.

#barchart #hours #week #teenagers #activities #chester
The
given
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bar chart demonstrates several activities done by teens from 2002 to 2007 in
chester
Change the capitalization
Chester
show examples
 every
hours
Change to a singular noun
hour
show examples
 per
week
.
overall
, teens
spends
Change the verb form
spend
show examples
 most of their time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
watching television and the least time is
spend
Change the form of the verb
spent
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
bowling every six years.
To begin
 with, youngsters approximately
use
Verb problem
apply
show examples
less than 20
hours
 per
week
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
going to pubs or discos
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every
mentioned
Verb problem
apply
show examples
years
Change to a singular noun
year
show examples
.
However
, a
mojority
Correct your spelling
majority
 of young ones love to watch television and they expenditure about 25
hours
 in 2002 and 2003 to more than 35
hours
 in 2006 and 2007 every
week
. Young people
give
Verb problem
spend
show examples
 less than 15
hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing homework and performing sports and the number of
hours
keep
Wrong verb form
kept
show examples
 reducing for both events from 2002 to 2007.
Further
, shopping is not very
famous
Correct word choice
popular
show examples
 among teens and they
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
spends
Correct subject-verb agreement
spend
show examples
 15
hours
 or less
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing it,and there is
also
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
rise
Correct article usage
a rise
show examples
 in
Add an article
the
show examples
amount of
hours
 per year in shopping weekly . Watching DVDs is an activity which fluctuates in the given time period the most regarding
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
hours
 spent by
teengers
Correct your spelling
teenagers
.
Lastly
, bowling is an
actuity
Correct your spelling
activity
 in which in every year the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
hours
erependiture
Correct your spelling
expenditure
 on it is less than 5
hours
 every
week
.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your introduction gives a clear overview of the data or trends displayed in the chart without being too general.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance the clarity of your presentation, consider organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs for introduction, each key point, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
When discussing trends, use a variety of expressions to describe increases, decreases, or stability over time, and ensure these are accurate.
Task Achievement
Check your writing for grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability and professionalism.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your conclusion summarizes the key trends or findings from the chart rather than introducing new information.
Task Achievement
You have effectively identified the main trends and activities from the chart.
Task Achievement
Your attempt to analyze temporal changes in activities over the years shows a good grasp of the task requirements.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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