IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree of disagree?

#developments #life #people
There is an ongoing debate regarding which
techology
Correct your spelling
technology
 is best. A majority of people believe that the technological
developments
 which had happened in the past had changed the
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 of common individuals and had numerous merits compared to recent
developments
 and the new technology will be inferior to the past 's.
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 I completely oppose
this
 view and my stance is discussed in the following paragraphs.
It
Correct pronoun usage
There
show examples
 is no doubt that old technological
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 are good, but they are just dust compared to
development
Add an article
the development
show examples
 of the modern era.
To begin
 with, in the
millieum
Correct your spelling
milieu
 of years ago
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 first invented wheels
accidently
Correct your spelling
accidentally
and after
that vehicles
Change the determiner
that vehicle
those vehicles
show examples
 like cars,
bike
Fix the agreement mistake
bikes
show examples
 and so on were invented which
runs
Correct subject-verb agreement
run
show examples
 on fuels like petrol and diesel which causes pollution.
However
, nowadays vehicles are running on CNG gas and electric
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 and
motorcycle
Fix the agreement mistake
motorcycles
show examples
 are
also
 invented.
Thes
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
 reduce the amount of pollution which is highly beneficial to all living
beigns
Correct your spelling
beings
.
Furthermore
, gadgets
such
 as
telephone
Change the article
the telephone
show examples
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
firstly
Change the word
first
show examples
 invented in
17th
Change the article
the 17th
show examples
 century and it is used for communicating with
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
. But , in
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
 century Folks are
owing
Correct your spelling
owning
show examples
 smartphones rather
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
telephone
Fix the agreement mistake
telephones
show examples
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 numerous advantages.
As a result
, smartphones are the best and useful gadgets of the modern period Apart from these, various digital facilities are available
such
 as modern infrastructure, electricity and much more
due to
 the solution of technology which is not possible in
oldera
Correct your spelling
older
older a
 In
this
 way, nowadays there is nobody who can live with latest gadgets as every person need it everyday.
Therefore
, the latest invention has made human
life
 easy.
To sum up
,
old
Correct article usage
the old
show examples
 era's
developments
 and inventions have made
folks
Change noun form
folks'
folk's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 straightforward in the past,
however
 comparing it to the modern period is like comparing the knowledge of an infant and an expert. Recent
developments
such
 as electricity, smartphones and so on have made people's
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 easygoing in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
modern
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 and
also
 have limitless benefits.
Submitted by akshayashvi07 on

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Structure
Ensure that each paragraph presents one clear idea, supported by examples and explanations. Mixing multiple ideas can detract from the clarity of your argument.
Grammar
Review and correct grammatical errors and typos to enhance the overall readability of your essay.
Conclusion
Develop your conclusion more thoroughly. Summarize your main points and clearly state your opinion in relation to the prompt.
Vocabulary
Use a wide variety of vocabulary but ensure that word choice is accurate and appropriate for the context.
Accuracy
Ensure all invented examples or historical information are plausible and add value to your argument.
Introduction
You successfully introduced the topic and clearly stated your opinion, setting a strong foundation for your argument.
Content
You made effective comparisons between past and present technological developments, illustrating your points with relevant examples.
Structure
Your essay structure, with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion, helps in organizing the content and maintaining the flow of ideas.

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