IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

The bar chart below gives information about average annual seafood consumption in Asian countries between 2002 and 2010.

The bar chart below gives information about average annual seafood consumption in Asian countries between 2002 and 2010.
#bar #information #seafood #consumption #asian #countries
The line graph
peresnts
Correct your spelling
presents
chenges
Correct your spelling
changes
change
 in
Correct article usage
the lenghth
show examples
lenghth
Correct your spelling
length
 of
travels
Fix the agreement mistake
travel
show examples
 of
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 between 5 to 15
years
 old via 6
diffrent
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different
 features
during
Change preposition
over
show examples
 50
years
.
Obviously
Add a comma
Obviously,
show examples
 most trips were done by
bus
Add an article
a bus
show examples
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 walking and
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 were less
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
 during
thoses
Correct your spelling
those
years
.
To begin
 distances moved by train fluctuated
about
Change preposition
from about
show examples
 18
o
Correct your spelling
to
 22
miles
.
also
Add a comma
also,
show examples
taxi
Fix the agreement mistake
taxis
show examples
 had
rising
Correct article usage
a rising
show examples
 and falling trend same as
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
.
In contrast
,
usage
Correct article usage
the usage
show examples
 of bicycles
lowerd
Correct your spelling
lowered
 from 28
miles
 to 18
miles
 and
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 people
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 it
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it was equal
as
Change preposition
to
show examples
bus
Add an article
a bus
the bus
show examples
 but, it
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
he
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 opposite slope.
Further more
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Furthermore
show examples
 car
appliance
Fix the agreement mistake
appliances
show examples
hightened
Correct your spelling
heightened
tightened
 until 2000 and peaked
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 32
miles
 but after
that
Add a comma
that,
show examples
 it
lowerd
Correct your spelling
lowered
whereas
 it stayed in the second rank in 2020. Even so, walking
falls
Wrong verb form
fell
show examples
 down and dipped in 2000 another rise
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
happened in
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
years
. In spite of
this
, it remained
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the bottom of gadgets until 2020. another important point is that no means could
overtook
Change the verb form
overtake
show examples
bus
Correct article usage
the bus
show examples
during
Change preposition
at
show examples
 all times. In short, more children
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 fans of
Add an article
the bus
show examples
bus
Fix the agreement mistake
buses
show examples
 and in the next
step
Add a comma
step,
show examples
 cars can left behind other facilities like cycling.
Whereas
, others are in
nex
Correct your spelling
new
leves
Correct your spelling
lives
level
leaves
.
Submitted by Saeed201271 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas, while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years, bus, miles with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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