Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Several individuals believe that dangerous
sports
should be banned by governments however
others oppose that individuals should have the freedom to play all sport
and activities. I would like to discuss both sides in more detail before giving my opinion.
On the one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
sports
it is clear that
the authorities should prevent dangerous play because they have negative effects on the physical health of many players, cause
serious accidents, Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
moreover
, they can lead to deaths. To illustrate, in Vietnam, a young girl had a serious accident when she was climbing because it was raining and the path got slippery, this
led to a result of her death.
On the other hand
, I believe that the residents should be encouraged to do all sports
and activities that they like because not only does it provide a diverse range of play, but it is also
the best way for players to explore their abilities as well as
their passion to find talented seeds in the sports
world. Additionally
, this
helps to increase the player’s experience. For instance
, a person is not good at swimming but she or he may be good at climbing. Thus
if they do not have an opportunity to try to climb, they will not discover that they are good at it.
In conclusion, in this
essay, I would like people to know that dangerous sports
should not be agreed to by the law because of their negative consequences, such
as causing serious accidents and death but communities should have the freedom to do any play or activity because it motivates more people to join the sports
to find talented people.Submitted by writingeilts on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Ensure a balance in discussing both views before presenting your opinion. You've done well in providing examples for each view, which strengthens your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to include a broader range of linking phrases and topic sentences to improve paragraph transitions and cohesion.
Task Response
In presenting your own opinion, make it explicitly clear whether you lean more towards one view over the other for a more decisive stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Good structure with clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
Task Achievement
Efficient use of examples to support your arguments.
Task Achievement
You've managed to tackle both views in a balanced manner before giving your own opinion, which is exactly what the prompt asks for.