Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

In contemporary times, there exists a paramount emphasis on

sports

, eliciting a plethora of debates on

this

subject. Several individuals believe that governments should ban dangerous

sports

however

, others claim that individuals should have the freedom to play any

sports

activities

. personally, in

this

essay, I would like to discuss both sides in more detail before giving my opinion. On the one hand, some residents support the idea that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unsafe

sports

should be prohibited by the authorities because they have a high risk of causing deaths or disablement to players.

This

consequence leads to other

disadvantage

Replace the word

disadvantageous

show examples

effects on their family members

as well as

society.

For example

, if a man who is a breadwinner passes away or is disabled because of a treacherous

sports

accident, his family will face major issues from mental to financial.

As a result

, his children may stop living and studying in high-quality situations.

Also

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

losts

Correct your spelling

loses

a piece of

personal

Replace the word

personality

show examples

On the other hand

, some groups argue that populations should be allowed to play all kinds of

sports

activities

This

helps them to have opportunities to explore the interesting in

phycial

Correct your spelling

physical

activities

themselves.

Furthermore

, it

incourages

Correct your spelling

encourages

more individuals to access

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sports

For instance

, if a person who

love

Change the verb form

loves

show examples

playing daring mountains is constrained to play football,

this

makes losing his or her motivation

of playing

Change preposition

to play

show examples

the

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

. In conclusion,

although

both sides certainly have some validity, it seems to me that it is better to let people have the freedom to play any

sports

activities

Submitted by writingeilts on Sat Apr 06 2024

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general

Overall, your essay is structured well, with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, some points could be expanded further for clarity and better support.

task achievement

Ensure that every main point is supported with clear, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments.

coherence cohesion

Avoid minor grammatical errors and improve sentence variety to enhance readability. For example: 'For example, if a man who is a breadwinner passes away or is disabled because of a treacherous sports accident, his family will face major issues from mental to financial.' can be revised to 'For example, if a man who is the breadwinner dies or becomes disabled due to a dangerous sports accident, his family would face significant mental and financial challenges.'

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, and you clearly state your intention to discuss both perspectives before presenting your opinion.

logical structure

Your essay has a logical structure that makes it easy to follow your argumentation.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries, traditional dress and costumes are considered effective ways of maintaining links with the past. How effective can traditional costumes be, in this sense? What other ways exist to help citizens connect with a country’s past?

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with others people and get new events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

In many countries, people wear more western-style clothes(suits and jeans) than their traditional clothes. Why? Is it a positive or negative development?

Many cities have vehicle-free day, which encourages citizens to take bus, cycle or take taxi to go out. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?