The position of women in society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. many of the problems young people now experience such as juvenile deliquency, arise from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opioion?
#position #women #society #twenty #years #people #deliquency #fact #work #home #care #children #opioion
Human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
had
been evolution a Wrong verb form
have
milion
of years. Correct your spelling
million
At
Change preposition
In
Correct article usage
the stone
stone age
, men with more strength than women Correct your spelling
Stone Age
have responrity to do
hunting a dangerous duty to find Wrong verb form
had the responsibility of
a food
for their family. Remove the article
food
a portion of food
Therefor
, women were left Correct your spelling
Therefore
at
a cave to take care Change preposition
in
their
Change preposition
of their
children
. To survive this
behavior continious foward
to new Correct your spelling
continuously forward
generation
. Fix the agreement mistake
generations
However
, the
intellectual process of human Change preposition
in the
being
and the Fix the agreement mistake
beings
deveolpment
of technology, a duty or Correct your spelling
development
carrier
Correct your spelling
career
not
depend on gender anymore. In fact, the problems of young people Add a missing verb
does not
such
as juvenile deliquency
Correct your spelling
delinquency
not
only Add a missing verb
are not
cause
by their Wrong verb form
caused
mother
not Fix the agreement mistake
mothers
care
Wrong verb form
caring
of
them, but Change preposition
for
it
can Correct pronoun usage
they
cause
by many factors.
In my point of view, a Wrong verb form
be caused
teenature
who Correct your spelling
the nature
tee nature
live
with their Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
full time
mom in Add a hyphen
full-time
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
enviroment
. Correct your spelling
environment
A violence
in Remove the article
Violence
family
by father, mother, Add an article
the family
a family
silbing
or relatives Correct your spelling
sibling
siblings
resulting
in mental Wrong verb form
results
disorder
Fix the agreement mistake
disorders
to
their Change preposition
in
childen
by anxiety and Correct your spelling
children
depresssion
. When younger have Correct your spelling
depression
a
weak mental health, they will Remove the article
apply
be seduce
by bad people to do something bad more easily than usual.
In some Change the verb form
be seduced
case
, parents with a Fix the agreement mistake
cases
well prepare
money, education and mental health to have a child expecting their child to be a perfect person Correct your spelling
well-prepared
such
as an asian
parenting. Change the capitalization
Asian
The asian
parents want their Correct article usage
Asian
children
to be a
number one in Correct article usage
apply
every thing
, a lot of pressure Correct your spelling
everything
puting
on their Correct your spelling
putting
child
makes them a Fix the agreement mistake
children
phycosis
. The mental disorder Correct your spelling
psychosis
give
Verb problem
causes
a
people to Correct article usage
apply
be
Verb problem
become
unconcious
, they Correct your spelling
unconscious
did
not know that they do Wrong verb form
do
a
bad Correct article usage
apply
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
with
others.
Change preposition
to
Moreover
, nowadays a
social media and Correct article usage
apply
internet
have more impact Correct article usage
the internet
to
Change preposition
on
teenature's
Change noun form
teenagers'
life
. Social media Fix the agreement mistake
lives
such
as intragram
, facebook and X enhance the Correct your spelling
Instagram
change
to Correct your spelling
chance
talking
to a stranger. These strangers can meet a Wrong verb form
talk
young-age
and manipulate them to misconception.
In summary, I disagree that the role of Correct your spelling
young age
take
care Change the verb form
taking
a
Correct your spelling
of
children
was only for woman
. Now, we have Fix the agreement mistake
women
a
childcare and education systems, in Correct article usage
apply
supporting
working parents. Sharing parental responsibilities is the essential key to ensuring Wrong verb form
support
a
well-being Correct article usage
the
children
. Change preposition
of children
Then
, the mis-understanding
of working Correct your spelling
misunderstanding
woman
Fix the agreement mistake
women
lead
to negative outcomes for Wrong verb form
leading
children
should be disappear
.Change the verb form
disappear
Submitted by somjutar.ops on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Structure
Try to organize your essay more clearly by introducing, developing, and concluding your ideas. A clear introduction and conclusion can significantly enhance the logical flow.
Cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of sentence structures and transitions to link your ideas more naturally and improve the readability of your essay.
Grammar and Spelling
Be cautious with spelling and grammar to ensure your argument is conveyed clearly and professionally.
Supporting Examples
Incorporate specific examples to support your arguments. Examples can make your points more compelling and easier to understand.
Topic Addressing
You've successfully addressed the essay topic and provided your viewpoint, which is a good foundation for your essay.
Analysis Depth
Efforts to explore various factors causing juvenile delinquency beyond the assertion that working mothers are to blame show an understanding of the essay's complexity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.