The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year.

In contemporary times, plenty of schools amended their procedures
instead
of conventional
education
.
While
some people argue that it is the best way to enhance pupils' knowledge in
education
, others believe that it is a detrimental method for individuals.
This
essay will examine the view and argue in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
of the former. On the one hand,
due to
technological improvements around the world, plenty of individuals are exposed
by
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
of technology.
Although
factories actively use
advantage
Add an article
the advantage
show examples
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology in their manufacturing process, the advantages are allocated
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system at the schools.
In other words
, pupils are able to enhance their ability
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
subjects including math, biology,
physics
Correct word choice
and physics
show examples
since those
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
involve virtual images and graphics in order to properly teach
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
.
Thus
, benefiting
smartboard
Fix the agreement mistake
smartboards
show examples
or smart devices could contribute
pupil's
Change preposition
to pupil's
show examples
awareness level by exhibiting virtual photos.
Nevertheless
, the "Z" generation
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
been growing old with smart devices so as to watch something on websites or to research some beneficial information, yet conventional teaching
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
could devastate
enthusiasm
Correct article usage
the enthusiasm
show examples
of students because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
sources, involving books,
tests
Correct word choice
and tests
show examples
. Juveniles want to see, feel,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
touch
their
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
works that they study by using artificial devices.
Hence
, plenty of institutions dramatically altered their policies about
education
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
. In my opinion,
this
alteration in
education
might lead to well-equipped opportunities, including
properly
Change the word
proper
show examples
learning,
enjoying
Correct word choice
and enjoying
show examples
the process, for
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
.
In addition
, not only does
changing
Change the verb form
change
show examples
the process enhance juveniles' motivation for studying
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it can
also
encourage their success in the branch. In conclusion, applying a radical alteration in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
instead
of traditional methods has several advantages, including improving
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
of comprehending
Replace the preposition
to comprehend
show examples
lessons, and promoting children to succeed.
However
,
This
essay entirely
advocate
Change the verb form
advocates
show examples
the idea
due to
its beneficial effect on students.
Submitted by samedsaysg on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will make your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.
Linking Words
Use transitional phrases to better link your ideas and paragraphs together, improving the flow of the essay.
Task Response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the essay prompt. While you discussed the impact of technology in education, the focus on continuous assessment vs traditional exams needs to be clearer.
Evidence
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. These can be hypothetical scenarios, studies, or personal observations that directly relate to the benefits or drawbacks of continuous assessment.
Grammar & Syntax
Watch out for grammatical errors and aim for more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
Content
You've provided a unique perspective on the integration of technology in education, which is a valuable addition to the discussion.
Personal Voice
Your enthusiasm and support for changes in the education system come across clearly, contributing positively to your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • current trend
  • traditional exams
  • continuous assessment
  • school year
  • deeper understanding
  • ongoing feedback
  • improvement
  • pressure
  • stress
  • real-life situations
  • continuous learning
  • evaluation
  • abilities
  • progress
What to do next:
Look at other essays: