IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year.

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In contemporary times, plenty of schools amended their procedures
instead
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 of conventional
education
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.
While
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 some people argue that it is the best way to enhance pupils' knowledge in
education
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, others believe that it is a detrimental method for individuals.
This
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 essay will examine the view and argue in
favor
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favour
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 of the former. On the one hand,
due to
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 technological improvements around the world, plenty of individuals are exposed
by
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to
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 the
effect
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effects
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 of technology.
Although
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 factories actively use
advantage
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the advantage
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 of
the
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apply
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technology in their manufacturing process, the advantages are allocated
for
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to
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Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system at the schools.
In other words
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, pupils are able to enhance their ability
of
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in
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 subjects including math, biology,
physics
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and physics
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 since those
subject
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subjects
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 involve virtual images and graphics in order to properly teach
informations
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information
pieces of information
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.
Thus
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, benefiting
smartboard
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smartboards
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 or smart devices could contribute
pupil's
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to pupil's
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 awareness level by exhibiting virtual photos.
Nevertheless
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, the "Z" generation
have
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has
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 been growing old with smart devices so as to watch something on websites or to research some beneficial information, yet conventional teaching
method
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methods
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 could devastate
enthusiasm
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the enthusiasm
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 of students because of
its
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their
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 sources, involving books,
tests
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and tests
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. Juveniles want to see, feel,
even
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and even
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 touch
their
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the
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 works that they study by using artificial devices.
Hence
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, plenty of institutions dramatically altered their policies about
education
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method
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methods
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. In my opinion,
this
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 alteration in
education
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 might lead to well-equipped opportunities, including
properly
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proper
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 learning,
enjoying
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and enjoying
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 the process, for
offsprings
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offspring
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.
In addition
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, not only does
changing
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change
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 the process enhance juveniles' motivation for studying
,
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, but
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it can
also
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 encourage their success in the branch. In conclusion, applying a radical alteration in
Use synonyms
education
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the education
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 system
instead
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 of traditional methods has several advantages, including improving
ability
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the ability
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of comprehending
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to comprehend
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 lessons, and promoting children to succeed.
However
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,
This
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 essay entirely
advocate
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advocates
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 the idea
due to
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 its beneficial effect on students.

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Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will make your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.
Linking Words
Use transitional phrases to better link your ideas and paragraphs together, improving the flow of the essay.
Task Response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the essay prompt. While you discussed the impact of technology in education, the focus on continuous assessment vs traditional exams needs to be clearer.
Evidence
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. These can be hypothetical scenarios, studies, or personal observations that directly relate to the benefits or drawbacks of continuous assessment.
Grammar & Syntax
Watch out for grammatical errors and aim for more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
Content
You've provided a unique perspective on the integration of technology in education, which is a valuable addition to the discussion.
Personal Voice
Your enthusiasm and support for changes in the education system come across clearly, contributing positively to your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • current trend
  • traditional exams
  • continuous assessment
  • school year
  • deeper understanding
  • ongoing feedback
  • improvement
  • pressure
  • stress
  • real-life situations
  • continuous learning
  • evaluation
  • abilities
  • progress
What to do next:
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