The current trend in education is to move away from traditional exams and instead have continuous assessment over the school year.

In contemporary times, plenty of schools amended their procedures
instead
of conventional
education
.
While
some people argue that it is the best way to enhance pupils' knowledge in
education
, others believe that it is a detrimental method for individuals.
This
essay will examine the view and argue in
favor
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favour
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of the former. On the one hand,
due to
technological improvements around the world, plenty of individuals are exposed
by
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to
show examples
the
effect
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effects
show examples
of technology.
Although
factories actively use
advantage
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the advantage
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of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology in their manufacturing process, the advantages are allocated
for
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to
show examples
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system at the schools.
In other words
, pupils are able to enhance their ability
of
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in
show examples
subjects including math, biology,
physics
Correct word choice
and physics
show examples
since those
subject
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subjects
show examples
involve virtual images and graphics in order to properly teach
informations
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information
pieces of information
show examples
.
Thus
, benefiting
smartboard
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smartboards
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or smart devices could contribute
pupil's
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to pupil's
show examples
awareness level by exhibiting virtual photos.
Nevertheless
, the "Z" generation
have
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has
show examples
been growing old with smart devices so as to watch something on websites or to research some beneficial information, yet conventional teaching
method
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methods
show examples
could devastate
enthusiasm
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the enthusiasm
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of students because of
its
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their
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sources, involving books,
tests
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and tests
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. Juveniles want to see, feel,
even
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and even
show examples
touch
their
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the
show examples
works that they study by using artificial devices.
Hence
, plenty of institutions dramatically altered their policies about
education
method
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methods
show examples
. In my opinion,
this
alteration in
education
might lead to well-equipped opportunities, including
properly
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proper
show examples
learning,
enjoying
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and enjoying
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the process, for
offsprings
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offspring
show examples
.
In addition
, not only does
changing
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change
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the process enhance juveniles' motivation for studying
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
it can
also
encourage their success in the branch. In conclusion, applying a radical alteration in
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
system
instead
of traditional methods has several advantages, including improving
ability
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the ability
show examples
of comprehending
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to comprehend
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lessons, and promoting children to succeed.
However
,
This
essay entirely
advocate
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advocates
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the idea
due to
its beneficial effect on students.
Submitted by samedsaysg on

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Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with distinct paragraphs for introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will make your arguments more coherent and easier to follow.
Linking Words
Use transitional phrases to better link your ideas and paragraphs together, improving the flow of the essay.
Task Response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the essay prompt. While you discussed the impact of technology in education, the focus on continuous assessment vs traditional exams needs to be clearer.
Evidence
Incorporate more specific examples to support your arguments. These can be hypothetical scenarios, studies, or personal observations that directly relate to the benefits or drawbacks of continuous assessment.
Grammar & Syntax
Watch out for grammatical errors and aim for more varied sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay.
Content
You've provided a unique perspective on the integration of technology in education, which is a valuable addition to the discussion.
Personal Voice
Your enthusiasm and support for changes in the education system come across clearly, contributing positively to your overall argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • current trend
  • traditional exams
  • continuous assessment
  • school year
  • deeper understanding
  • ongoing feedback
  • improvement
  • pressure
  • stress
  • real-life situations
  • continuous learning
  • evaluation
  • abilities
  • progress
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