IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the percentage of households in owned and rented accommodation in England and Wales between 1918 and 2011. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#percentage #households #accommodation #england #wales #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart illustrates the proportion of the
owners
Use synonyms
 and the
renters
Use synonyms
 who lived in England and
wales
Capitalize word
Wales
show examples
 from 1918 to 2011.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the number of households
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
owned had an upward trend approximately,
while
Linking Words
 the number of households
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
rented showed a
down ward
Correct your spelling
downward
show examples
 trend nearly. In the first year, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Add an article
the people
show examples
 rented houses and
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 stood at the highest level
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 78%
whereas
Linking Words
 the range of
owners
Use synonyms
 had a huge difference and showed 22% which means that, they had an enormous gap in1918. From 1939 to1953 both
owners
Use synonyms
 and
renters
Use synonyms
 leveled off at 70% and 30% respectively. The percentage of house
owners
Use synonyms
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
followed a growth trend until 1991 by 37% of climbing
although
Linking Words
 , the rate of
renters
Use synonyms
 experienced a noticeable
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 more than 30% at the same time. Between 1991 and 2001, the rate of buyers had a negligible increase
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 less than 1%
while
Linking Words
 it experienced a slight decrease to 65% in 2011. it is remarkable the percentage of
renters
Use synonyms
 maintained the same level at 32% from 1991 to
2001and
Correct your spelling
2001
 showed a minimal
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 7% in 2011.
Submitted by bakhti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words owners, renters with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • households
  • accommodation
  • owned
  • rented
  • prevalent
  • transition period
  • trend
  • increase
  • decrease
  • significant
  • analyze
  • summarize
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