being slim is associated with fashion. do you think it is a positive or negative trend?
The extreme
thinness is nowadays considered Correct article usage
Extreme
as
fashion. I reckon that it is a wrong trend and it should be discontinued. Correct your spelling
a
Otherwise
, it could result in serious consequences for Linking Words
health
of an individual Add an article
the health
as well as
Linking Words
could
promote wrong trends in Verb problem
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
.
Use synonyms
To begin
with, the media is overwhelmed with the Linking Words
extraordinary
slim model culture. It causes a plethora of negative implications in the Change the word
extraordinarily
society
. At Use synonyms
first,
it promotes objectification of the Linking Words
women
. Use synonyms
Women
are demonstrated as the only tool that encourages fashionable clothing trends among Use synonyms
masses
. It could cause Correct article usage
the masses
lowering
of the status of Correct article usage
a lowering
the
Correct article usage
apply
women
to lesser individuals Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
. Use synonyms
For instance
, the fashion industry Linking Words
put
Wrong verb form
puts
women
under extreme Use synonyms
pressures
of long working hours and Fix the agreement mistake
pressure
exploit
them with lesser wages.
Correct subject-verb agreement
exploits
Furthermore
, these Linking Words
women
Use synonyms
also
have to stay hungry for Linking Words
extreme
number of hours. It causes numerous eating disorders Change the article
an extreme
the extreme
such
as Linking Words
bulemia
and anorexia. Correct your spelling
bulimia
Consequently
, it causes them to suffer malnutrition and immunity disorders. Linking Words
This
Linking Words
cause
psychological diseases. Change the verb form
causes
Finally
, the pressure on the health system increases which could be avoided.
Linking Words
To conclude
, the extreme slimness in the mass media has negative consequences on Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
society
and the well-being of a person. Use synonyms
Hence
, I reaffirm that it should never be Linking Words
practiced
by Change the spelling
practised
the
ordinary individuals.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by Kiran on
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task achievement
Start by presenting your argument more clearly in the introduction, ensuring to answer the question directly. Mention whether you view it as a positive or negative trend explicitly.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. While you've mentioned conditions like bulimia and anorexia, giving real-world instances or more detailed scenarios can strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow by using a broader range of linking words and transitional phrases. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph structure for improved clarity. Each paragraph should ideally open with a clear topic sentence, followed by evidence or examples, and conclude with a sentence that summarizes or links back to the main argument.
task achievement
Addressed the prompt with a clear stance, recognizing it as a negative trend.
task achievement
Your essay engages with relevant societal and health issues, contributing to a multifaceted argument.
coherence cohesion
Overall, the essay maintains a logical structure, with a clear introduction and conclusion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.