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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the average consumption of three nutrients by adults in the UK. All of these nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.

The charts below show the average consumption of three nutrients by adults in the UK. All of these nutrients may be unhealthy if eaten too much.
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The given charts display the figure for the amount of
sodium
Use synonyms
, saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 consumed each day by adults in the UK.
Overall
Linking Words
 it can be seen that most factors are consumed highest at dinner except added
sugar
Use synonyms
 which was consumed most in snacks.
Besides
Linking Words
, in breakfast, the amount of consumption of three factors is lowest.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, adults in the UK have breakfast with the lowest proportion of these factors, particularly 13% for
sodium
Use synonyms
 and 16% for saturated fat
as well as
Linking Words
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
. At lunch,
sodium
Use synonyms
 occupies the highest amount 28% of the total meals, followed by saturated fat and added
sugar
Use synonyms
 make up 26% and 20% respectively. Moving on to the other categories,
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat are consumed highest at dinner with 42% for the former and 39% for the latter
while
Linking Words
 added
sugar
Use synonyms
 accounts for 19% of total meals.
Lastly
Linking Words
, daily snacks of adults in the UK contain 45% added
sugar
Use synonyms
 which topped the list in total meals
while
Linking Words
sodium
Use synonyms
 and saturated fat take up 17% and 19% respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sodium, sugar with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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