It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not resposilbe to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extend to you agree or disagree?

In contemporary times, it
is argue
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is argued
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that above fifty years old
employees do
Verb problem
are
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not capable
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
quickly changing ideas
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
workplace and because of
this
notion younger
workers
should be hired.
While
I accept that
this
perception is somewhat justified, I assert that there are other important factors
might
Correct pronoun usage
that might
show examples
logically lead to opposition. On the one hand, it is understandable why employers are not in favour of old
workers
in the digital era. First and foremost, these
workers
do not have enough health to adapt
job
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to job
show examples
requirements.
For example
, jobs related to IT fields require a huge amount of learning and training, which could put a barrier to the elderly to acquire it.
Furthermore
, old age could
negative
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negatively
show examples
affect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
productivity. In fact, an increase in the quality of job tasks means more working time, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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elder
workers
might not catch up
the
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with the
show examples
pace of young
workers
as well as
not have enough health to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
heavy workload.
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I believe that old employees could do better than the youth. One rationale is that they could utilise their knowledge. To be more specific, with numerous valuable skills,
old
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older
show examples
workers
could learn
more
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apply
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faster
as well as
focus on solving problems. Another justification is that old
workers
could enhance the job process.
For instance
, they could not only take part in
task
Correct article usage
the task
show examples
process but
also
give a hand in management, which could minimise wasted resources by using their experiences,
such
as teamwork, communication, or time management. In conclusion,
while
it is irrefutable that employees who are older than fifty years old have some limitations and demerits, I would contend that they
also
have other profound abilities to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
or even perform better
younger
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than younger
show examples
workers
.
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to present your arguments and supporting details more clearly. Although you have a good structure, making each paragraph focus explicitly on one clear main idea can improve comprehension.
Task Achievement
Consider refining your examples to be more specific and directly relevant to your arguments. This will help strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
Language
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typological mistakes, such as spelling 'modern' as 'moden' or 'responsible' as 'resposilbe'. These small errors can distract from your overall message.
Task Achievement
You have a balanced view and a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking skills. Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of transitions and connectors to show the relationship between ideas assists in the logical flow of your essay, aiding coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Age diversity
  • Inflexibility stereotype
  • Valuable experience
  • Varied perspectives
  • Technological adaptation
  • Continuous learning
  • Workplace adaptability
  • Mentorship programs
  • Innovation capacity
  • Generational collaboration
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