It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not resposilbe to rapidly changing ideas in the modern workplace and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extend to you agree or disagree?
In contemporary times, it
is argue
that above fifty years old Change the verb form
is argued
employees do
not capable Verb problem
are
to
quickly changing ideas Change preposition
of
the
Change preposition
in the
moden
workplace and because of Correct your spelling
modern
this
notion younger Linking Words
workers
should be hired. Use synonyms
While
I accept that Linking Words
this
perception is somewhat justified, I assert that there are other important factors Linking Words
might
logically lead to opposition.
On the one hand, it is understandable why employers are not in favour of old Correct pronoun usage
that might
workers
in the digital era. First and foremost, these Use synonyms
workers
do not have enough health to adapt Use synonyms
job
requirements. Change preposition
to job
For example
, jobs related to IT fields require a huge amount of learning and training, which could put a barrier to the elderly to acquire it. Linking Words
Furthermore
, old age could Linking Words
negative
affect Change the adjective
negatively
the
productivity. In fact, an increase in the quality of job tasks means more working time, so Correct article usage
apply
that
elder Correct word choice
apply
workers
might not catch up Use synonyms
the
pace of young Change preposition
with the
workers
Use synonyms
as well as
not have enough health to Linking Words
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
the
heavy workload.
Change preposition
to the
On the other hand
, there are a host of compelling reasons why I believe that old employees could do better than the youth. One rationale is that they could utilise their knowledge. To be more specific, with numerous valuable skills, Linking Words
old
Fix the agreement mistake
older
workers
could learn Use synonyms
more
faster Change the word
apply
as well as
focus on solving problems. Another justification is that old Linking Words
workers
could enhance the job process. Use synonyms
For instance
, they could not only take part in Linking Words
task
process but Correct article usage
the task
also
give a hand in management, which could minimise wasted resources by using their experiences, Linking Words
such
as teamwork, communication, or time management.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
it is irrefutable that employees who are older than fifty years old have some limitations and demerits, I would contend that they Linking Words
also
have other profound abilities to Linking Words
adopt
or even perform better Correct your spelling
adapt
younger
Change preposition
than younger
workers
.Use synonyms
Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Try to present your arguments and supporting details more clearly. Although you have a good structure, making each paragraph focus explicitly on one clear main idea can improve comprehension.
Task Achievement
Consider refining your examples to be more specific and directly relevant to your arguments. This will help strengthen your position and make your essay more persuasive.
Language
Be mindful of minor grammatical errors and typological mistakes, such as spelling 'modern' as 'moden' or 'responsible' as 'resposilbe'. These small errors can distract from your overall message.
Task Achievement
You have a balanced view and a good attempt at discussing both sides of the argument, which shows good critical thinking skills. Your conclusion does a good job of summarizing your stance.
Coherence and Cohesion
The use of transitions and connectors to show the relationship between ideas assists in the logical flow of your essay, aiding coherence.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?