some individuals advocate for improving public transportation systems as a means to reduce traffic congestion and air pollution. Conversely, others argue that private cars offer more convenience and freedom. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many
people
think that owning
cars
gives them leisure and liberty.
Thus
,
people
buy more
cars
and vehicles for travelling.
However
, I strongly opine that developing infrastructure for improved public
transport
is the key to safe and secure
travel
,
as well as
it helps reduce
traffic
and air
pollution
caused by vehicles. From my perspective, a developed country is one where individuals
travel
more by public
transport
rather than private vehicles. Alternatively,
People
can use
cars
for urgent or important commute purposes. Having fewer
cars
on the road not only helps in decreasing air
pollution
it
also
helps with
traffic
and parking issues.
For instance
, In the city of Bangalore,
traffic
is at its peak in some areas it takes
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
show examples
amount of time to
travel
from one place to another.
Thus
, Bangalore needs a better public
transport
facility to overcome the issue of
traffic
and parking problems. Personally speaking, improved public
transport
helps and provides individuals the right to
travel
, which can be seen in countries like Germany, where
travel
is affordable and cheaper,
due to
the incredible and reliable
transport
facilities provided by the Government of Germany; it has helped the country to reduce
traffic
as well as
pollution
significantly. To cite an example, trains in Germany are interconnected, and they
travel
at an average speed of 350 km per hour.
Thus
,
people
prefer public
transport
for faster and more trustworthy services. In conclusion, I strongly believe that having good public
transport
not only helps the citizens but
also
helps in reducing the cost of
travel
and
pollution
at the same time.
Submitted by avesh1409 on

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language
Ensure that you use a wide range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to convey your points effectively. While your essay demonstrates a good grasp of the topic, more variety in language could enhance clarity and impact.
tone
Try to maintain an objective tone throughout, especially when discussing viewpoints contrary to your own. This will strengthen the overall balance and fairness of your argument.
structure
Consider providing a more explicit stance in your introduction for a stronger initial impact. Although your conclusion clearly states your position, a direct assertion at the beginning would better guide the reader through your discussion.
organization
You have effectively organized your essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, which aids in the overall coherence and cohesion of your arguments.
content
Your essay provides relevant examples and reasons supporting your arguments, which greatly enhances the persuasive quality of your writing.
task response
The overall completeness of your response and the manner in which you addressed both views before stating your opinion demonstrate a strong task achievement.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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