More and more students choose to move to other countries to study their higher education. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh its disadvantages?

Education
becomes
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
a third eye of
humankinds
Correct your spelling
humankind
in the modern era. There are a lot of
leaners
Correct your spelling
learners
show examples
want
Correct pronoun usage
who want
show examples
to go
to aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
for their higher
study
due to
it
Correct pronoun usage
this
show examples
some juvineils face various
obstackles
Correct your spelling
obstacles
and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
achieved success. I will discuss both cons and pros of it in the upcoming paragraphs. Indeed, the advantage of going to other countries,
learning
Correct word choice
and learning
show examples
about new languages and
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
is that becomes a new trend which proves
boon
Correct article usage
a boon
show examples
for them.
For example
, an
articals pushished
Correct your spelling
article published
in
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
HIndustan Times of India that who students completed studies from
foreiger
Correct your spelling
foreign
foreigner
countries, they have more successful in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
because they have other language skills and knowledge about other
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
so they get more achievements rather than others.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
, there is no doubt that
which
Correct word choice
when
show examples
people gain
study
from reputed
collages
Correct your spelling
colleges
show examples
or universities, they have more options to get jobs in any
sectors
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sector
show examples
. To illustrate that, the survey
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
done in 2015
clear
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clearly
show examples
that more jobs
gave
Wrong verb form
were given
show examples
to those students in that year who completed their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
in
high level
Add a hyphen
high-level
show examples
universities or
collages
Correct your spelling
colleges
show examples
than others.
Thus
, it plays
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
role
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
giving better
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
to
study
in
other country
Change the wording
another country
other countries
show examples
.
However
, there are some disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
it, if
juvineils
Correct your spelling
juveniles
are gone
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
nation
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
then
they have to face
prombles
Correct your spelling
problems
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
homesickness.
Also
, they have to do all household work
as
Correct quantifier usage
such as
show examples
cooking, laundry and cleaning.
Therefore
, they may not concentrate on their
study
. In conclusion,
study in aboard
Correct your spelling
studying abroad
show examples
may some difficult for students but there are
vaious
Correct your spelling
various
benefits are
also
which are more from it because they can achieve better jobs and get different
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
in their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.
Submitted by harmanpreetkang20 on

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Language Accuracy
Make sure to carefully proofread your essay to correct misspellings and improve grammar. For instance, 'learners' instead of 'leaners', 'abroad' instead of 'aboard', and 'articles' instead of 'articals'. These errors can distract from the clarity of your message.
Idea Development
Enhance your argument by developing your ideas more comprehensively. Each benefit or drawback you mention could be expanded with more examples or a deeper analysis of its impact.
Paragraph Structure
Focus on structuring your paragraphs clearly. Start with a topic sentence, follow with supporting sentences, and finish with a concluding sentence. This will make your essay more coherent.
Use of Evidence
Avoid general statements without specific evidence. For instance, when you mention surveys or articles, try to provide more detailed information about these studies to strengthen your argument.
Engagement
You've engaged well with the question, considering both advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad.
Conclusion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your thoughts and presents a clear standpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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