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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The bar chart below shows the US top 10 processed food export markets for last year and six years ago.

The bar chart below shows the US top 10 processed food export markets for last year and six years ago.
#bar #food #export #markets #year #six #years
The shown bar graph compares
top
Correct article usage
the top
show examples
 ten processed food export markets of
US
Correct article usage
the US
show examples
 for
last
year
 and six
years
 ago. As the bar chart suggests food export markets for
last
year
 largely more than 6
years
 ago in every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
.Apart from those 9 countries,it could be noticed that
difference
Correct article usage
the difference
show examples
 between
last
year
’s percentage of
Rest
Correct article usage
the Rest
show examples
 of the World and 6
years
 ago is significant. Now,
according to
 the country with the highest percentage and the lowest,it is obvious that Canada
have is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 the number one
as in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
last
year
 with 13.2,as
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
6
years
 ago with 9.3,
while
 at the bottom of the
top
Add a comma
top,
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 we see
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Hong Kong with 0.8 in
last
year
 that almost 16
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 fewer and mere 0.3 6
years
 ago that 31
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
 fewer. Despite the fact that Hong Kong
the
Add a missing verb
is the
show examples
 lowest,it is apparently seen that Japan have the smallest difference,2.5 and 2.4
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 70%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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