Some people believe that women should play an equal role as Men in a country's police force or military force, such as the army, while others think women are not suitable for this kind of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

One of the widely discussed issues nowadays is whether the role of
women
in the army will remain the same, as the current discussion about the army calls into question.
Whereas
there are people who assert that only men should join the military, I strongly disagree. A woman should be given equal opportunities
at
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in
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the army, navy,
as well as
air force wherever men are. They actually become the factors that chase
increase
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an increase
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in expertise and cognition for armed
forces
alongside
of
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apply
show examples
the achievements of a myriad of diverse skills and points of view. There's something within us that allows us to ignore sex as the defining trait for strength.
Firstly
, allowing
women
into the military expands the talent pool available to the armed
forces
. Research has concluded that female competence empowered by technical knowledge and strategic thinking does not differ from their male counterparts. Amidst the age of highly complicated armed conflicts that incorporate intelligence activities, cyber
defense
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defence
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, and supply chains, children's capabilities become a a tremendous resource. In militarization, a larger
overall
field for selection leads to better
decision making
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decision-making
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and
therefore
, mission success achieved.
Furthermore
,
women
bring a different perspective to the table, fostering a more well-rounded military.
Women
are likely to be good at
the
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apply
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teamwork, communication, and relationship-building, traits that are highly required in a business. These skills are the main ones that characterize the modern military regime, where troops stand in ranks with each other and the task is completed under the command of a single commander.
Women
as well can become very important in peace operations and function as emissaries to neutralize the confrontational situation
by
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through
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the unique ability to earn local trust. Military units train extensively to build trust and teamwork, regardless of gender. In fact, studies have shown that
women
in combat units can boost morale and improve
overall
performance. In summary, all the information mentioned earlier has factual
evidences
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evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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that
let
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lets
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us
into having
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have
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women
serving in the military which
strong
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strengthens
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the armed
forces
in
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at
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different levels
such
as widening
of
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apply
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potentials
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potential
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, making the
forces
more balanced and showing the
country
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country's
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commitment to equality
respectively
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apply
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. The moment has come when anachronistic gender notions and the recognition of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
national
security
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security's
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substantial contributions by
women
should be missed.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure clarity and precision in conveying ideas. Some sections use complex sentences that may cloud the main argument. Consider simplifying these to maintain clarity throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of discourse markers to improve the overall flow and connectivity of your essay. While the essay is well structured, using varied connectors could enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
While discussing both views and elaborating on your opinion, try to maintain a balanced discussion. Ensure you are presenting both sides thoroughly before concluding with your viewpoint.
Task Achievement
To further strengthen your arguments, consider including more specific examples and data to support your points. Real-world case studies or statistics can enhance the persuasiveness of your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've done an excellent job of introducing and concluding your essay, providing a strong framework for your arguments.
Task Achievement
You've shown a clear understanding of the topic and articulated your viewpoint effectively. Your essay demonstrates comprehensive exploration of the subject.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • equality
  • capability
  • inherent
  • high-stress situations
  • diverse perspectives
  • problem-solving
  • decision-making
  • traditional views
  • gender roles
  • inclusive opportunities
  • role models
  • tactical advantages
  • intelligence gathering
  • negotiators
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