Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In the realm of education, the question of whether
students
perform better under a system of
rewards
or
punishments
has long been debated.
While
some argue that
rewards
serve as better motivators, others contend that
punishment
can effectively deter undesirable
behavior
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behaviour
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.
This
essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. On one hand, proponents of the reward-based system assert that positive reinforcement fosters a conducive learning environment. By offering incentives
such
as praise, recognition, or tangible
rewards
like certificates or prizes,
students
are encouraged to excel academically.
This
approach
capitalizes on the psychology of motivation, as it taps into
students
' innate desire for approval and success. When
students
feel valued and appreciated for their efforts, they are more likely to remain engaged in their studies and strive for continuous improvement.
Moreover
,
rewards
can help cultivate a positive attitude towards learning. When
students
associate academic achievements with positive outcomes, they develop a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy.
This
, in turn, bolsters their self-esteem and confidence, empowering them to tackle academic challenges with enthusiasm and resilience.
Consequently
, a reward-based system not only enhances academic performance but
also
nurtures holistic development by fostering a growth mindset and a love for learning.
On the other hand
, proponents of the
punishment
-based
approach
argue that consequences are necessary to deter undesirable
behaviors
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behaviours
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and
instill
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instil
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discipline. By imposing penalties
such
as detention, loss of privileges, or negative feedback, educators aim to correct misconduct and maintain order in the classroom. Advocates of
this
view contend that
punishment
serves as a deterrent, as
students
are inclined to avoid undesirable consequences by adhering to rules and regulations.
Furthermore
,
punishment
is perceived by some as a means of preparing
students
for real-world accountability. In professional and social spheres, individuals are held responsible for their actions, and undesirable
behavior
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behaviour
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often incurs consequences.
Therefore
, proponents of the
punishment
-based
approach
argue that experiencing the repercussions of their actions in a controlled educational setting can impart valuable life lessons and
instill
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instil
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a sense of responsibility in
students
.
However
, despite the merits of both approaches, I believe that a balanced combination of
rewards
and
punishments
yields the most
favorable
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favourable
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outcomes in education.
While
rewards
serve as effective motivators and reinforce positive
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
,
punishment
can be necessary to address instances of misconduct and uphold discipline.
Nevertheless
, it is imperative that
punishments
are administered judiciously and accompanied by constructive feedback, aiming not to shame or demoralize
students
but to guide them towards
behavioral
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behavioural
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improvement. In conclusion, the debate surrounding the efficacy of
rewards
versus
punishments
in enhancing academic performance is multifaceted.
While
rewards
capitalize on motivation and positive reinforcement,
punishment
aims to deter misconduct and
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
discipline.
However
, a balanced
approach
that integrates both strategies is essential to cultivate a conducive learning environment that fosters academic excellence and holistic development in
students
.
Submitted by burtebaeva02 on

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Task Achievement
Consider incorporating specific examples or studies to further bolster your arguments. This could provide concrete evidence to support the benefits of a reward-based system or the effectiveness of punishments in certain scenarios.
Task Achievement
For an even stronger essay, you might explore a wider range of perspectives or delve deeper into potential drawbacks or limitations of each approach.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to maintain a balance in the development of both sides of the argument to ensure a comprehensive discussion before stating your final opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures further to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence and to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively explored both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that thoroughly explore each view, and a conclusive paragraph summarizing your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
The use of transitional phrases and cohesive devices effectively guides the reader through your arguments, enhancing the readability and flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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