Students perform better in school when they are rewarded rather than punished. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Discuss both views and give your own opinion

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the realm of education, the question of whether
students
Use synonyms
perform better under a system of
rewards
Use synonyms
or
punishments
Use synonyms
has long been debated.
While
Linking Words
some argue that
rewards
Use synonyms
serve as better motivators, others contend that
punishment
Use synonyms
can effectively deter undesirable
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
essay will explore both perspectives before presenting my own viewpoint. On one hand, proponents of the reward-based system assert that positive reinforcement fosters a conducive learning environment. By offering incentives
such
Linking Words
as praise, recognition, or tangible
rewards
Use synonyms
like certificates or prizes,
students
Use synonyms
are encouraged to excel academically.
This
Linking Words
approach
Use synonyms
capitalizes on the psychology of motivation, as it taps into
students
Use synonyms
' innate desire for approval and success. When
students
Use synonyms
feel valued and appreciated for their efforts, they are more likely to remain engaged in their studies and strive for continuous improvement.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
rewards
Use synonyms
can help cultivate a positive attitude towards learning. When
students
Use synonyms
associate academic achievements with positive outcomes, they develop a sense of accomplishment and self-efficacy.
This
Linking Words
, in turn, bolsters their self-esteem and confidence, empowering them to tackle academic challenges with enthusiasm and resilience.
Consequently
Linking Words
, a reward-based system not only enhances academic performance but
also
Linking Words
nurtures holistic development by fostering a growth mindset and a love for learning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, proponents of the
punishment
Use synonyms
-based
approach
Use synonyms
argue that consequences are necessary to deter undesirable
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
and
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
discipline. By imposing penalties
such
Linking Words
as detention, loss of privileges, or negative feedback, educators aim to correct misconduct and maintain order in the classroom. Advocates of
this
Linking Words
view contend that
punishment
Use synonyms
serves as a deterrent, as
students
Use synonyms
are inclined to avoid undesirable consequences by adhering to rules and regulations.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
punishment
Use synonyms
is perceived by some as a means of preparing
students
Use synonyms
for real-world accountability. In professional and social spheres, individuals are held responsible for their actions, and undesirable
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
often incurs consequences.
Therefore
Linking Words
, proponents of the
punishment
Use synonyms
-based
approach
Use synonyms
argue that experiencing the repercussions of their actions in a controlled educational setting can impart valuable life lessons and
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
a sense of responsibility in
students
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, despite the merits of both approaches, I believe that a balanced combination of
rewards
Use synonyms
and
punishments
Use synonyms
yields the most
favorable
Change the spelling
favourable
show examples
outcomes in education.
While
Linking Words
rewards
Use synonyms
serve as effective motivators and reinforce positive
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
,
punishment
Use synonyms
can be necessary to address instances of misconduct and uphold discipline.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is imperative that
punishments
Use synonyms
are administered judiciously and accompanied by constructive feedback, aiming not to shame or demoralize
students
Use synonyms
but to guide them towards
behavioral
Change the spelling
behavioural
show examples
improvement. In conclusion, the debate surrounding the efficacy of
rewards
Use synonyms
versus
punishments
Use synonyms
in enhancing academic performance is multifaceted.
While
Linking Words
rewards
Use synonyms
capitalize on motivation and positive reinforcement,
punishment
Use synonyms
aims to deter misconduct and
instill
Change the spelling
instil
show examples
discipline.
However
Linking Words
, a balanced
approach
Use synonyms
that integrates both strategies is essential to cultivate a conducive learning environment that fosters academic excellence and holistic development in
students
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by burtebaeva02 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Consider incorporating specific examples or studies to further bolster your arguments. This could provide concrete evidence to support the benefits of a reward-based system or the effectiveness of punishments in certain scenarios.
Task Achievement
For an even stronger essay, you might explore a wider range of perspectives or delve deeper into potential drawbacks or limitations of each approach.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to maintain a balance in the development of both sides of the argument to ensure a comprehensive discussion before stating your final opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Consider varying your sentence structures further to demonstrate a wider range of grammatical competence and to enhance the flow of your essay.
Task Achievement
You effectively explored both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view before stating your own opinion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that thoroughly explore each view, and a conclusive paragraph summarizing your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
The use of transitional phrases and cohesive devices effectively guides the reader through your arguments, enhancing the readability and flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: