Most cities around the world continue to grow at a phenomenal rate due to massive increase in population. This has lead to a general decline in the quality of life in the city area, as the environment becomes more crowded and polluted. Give some reasons why this growth has occurred and suggest some practical solution to this problem.
The luxurious
life
in major cities attracted a lot of people. Consequently
, overcrowding and pollution ruins
the well-being of the occupants and their environment. In Change the verb form
ruin
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons why there is continuous
increase in the populationAdd an article
a continuous
the continuous
, at
the same time, Correct word choice
and, at
providing
measures of how it can be controlled.
Wrong verb form
provide
To begin
with, the surge in urban population is a result of poor birth
control and urbanization. The party life
in the cities involves drugs and alcohol subsequently
resulting in unprotected sex. This
results in unwanted pregnancy and uncontrolled
Correct article usage
an uncontrolled
birth
rate. For example
, the city of New York demonstrated the highest birth
rate as revealed in a recent study. Furthermore
, availability
of Correct article usage
the availability
advance
education and Replace the word
advanced
way
of Correct article usage
a way
life
has attracted individuals from rural areas. For instance
, a survey revealed that 80% of people moving into the city was
to seek better education.
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
However
, there are effective solutions that can be put in place to suppress the problem. Starting a family planning campaign can reduce incidence
of unplanned pregnancy which will Add an article
the incidence
subsequently
decrease the reproduction rate. For instance
, placing of
condoms readily available in hotels and nightclubs makes choices for partners to prevent unexpected fertilization. Change preposition
apply
Additionally
, increasing the cost of living will discourage families in rural areas from moving into developed cities. For example
, the expensive cost of accommodation in Sydney has caused people to choose Melbourne for settlement as shown on a national poll.
In conclusion, a decline in quality of life
in developed areas is a consequences
of crowding and pollution. The growth is related to Change the noun form
consequence
lack
of Correct article usage
the lack
birth
control and urbanization. Increasing cost
of living and establishing family planning measures can settle these problems.Correct article usage
the cost
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task response
Be cautious of oversimplified explanations for complex issues. While urbanization and poor birth control are factors, acknowledging the multi-faceted nature of urban growth might enhance your argument.
task response
Ensure your examples are detailed and based on factual evidence. The examples given are a bit generic and could be improved by adding real statistics or studies for validity.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay with clear paragraphing and use a wider range of linking devices to enhance coherence. Transition sentences between paragraphs could improve the flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with spelling, grammar, and particularly the precise use of terminology. For example, 'unexpected fertilization' might be more accurately referred to as 'unplanned pregnancies'.
coherence cohesion
Effective introduction and conclusion paragraphs that clearly outline your essay's structure and viewpoints.
task achievement
Good use of examples, even if they would benefit from more detail, to support your main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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