IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Today, there are more television channels than ever before. Some people think this leads to more choices for television viewers. Others, however, believe this causes the quality of television programmes to decline. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#television #channels #people #choices #viewers #quality #programmes #decline
One
 of the most prevalent trends in today's world is a cumulative upsurge in TV channels as compared to
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 few years. Nowadays, it is easy to watch the programs of all the languages broadcasted from all over the world which in turn,
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreases
show examples
 the quality of content shared in them. The
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 about whether the quality has been declined or
this
 leads to more choices for television viewers is widely debated. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and present my own opinion
at the end
.
Firstly
,
this
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these
show examples
 increasing numbers are giving chance to audience to learn more about the globe by sitting in a corner of their own home. In their own comfort, they can enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dramas and movies in different languages and the best point is most of them are presented with the
sub-titles
Correct your spelling
subtitles
show examples
 in
english
Change the capitalization
English
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 so, everyone can easily understand them.
For instance
, viewers used to have limited knowledge of
holywood
Correct your spelling
Hollywood
 movies back in
18th
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the 18th
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 or 19th century but now social media has made it more convenient for people to watch
holywood
Correct your spelling
Hollywood
 movies from any side of
this
 earth.
Moreover
, the citizens of every country are able to gain knowledge from
this
 dramatic change, and it can be seen in
change
Add an article
the change
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 of lifestyle of people in most of the countries.
Secondly
, every TV channel wants to gain more followers and in
this
 hustle and bustle, they are bringing vulgar content. We cannot watch those serials and films in the presence of
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 family as
one
 has to
isolate
Wrong verb form
be isolated
show examples
 in a separate room to watch it. Not only,
this
 sort of media taking the youth to
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
show examples
 side, but
also
 fascinating them to spend more hours on screen as youngsters are become more attracted towards
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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 sort of material as
compare
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compared
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 to useful
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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.
To conclude
, I believe that every aspect has merits and demerits as
coin
Add an article
a coin
the coin
show examples
 has two sides so
one
 should be intelligent enough to find
right
Correct article usage
the right
show examples
 side for him/her.
This
 revolutionary change is not only providing us
news
Change preposition
with news
show examples
 from all over the globe but
also
 educating us on different cultures and norms.
Moreover
, citizens should be educated enough to learn the wrong sides of presented material and if those bad
channles
Correct your spelling
channels
will
Verb problem
do
show examples
 not have enough followers, they cannot fund themselves
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 long run.
Submitted by kaurv083 on

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Structure
Engage in more precise paragraph structuring. Begin with a clear topic sentence that introduces the main idea of the paragraph.
Content
Avoid making statements that lack evidence or examples. Try to substantiate your claims with concrete examples or data.
Language
Be careful with word choice to ensure precision and avoid generalizations. For instance, refer to a particular era more accurately rather than '18th or 19th century'.
Task Response
Your essay presents a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before providing your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses connectives and transitions effectively, facilitating a smooth flow of ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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