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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

The table below gives information about population in Australia and Malaysia in 1980 and 2002. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#information #population #australia #malaysia #summarise #features #comparisons
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A glance at the table provides demographic
datas
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data
 in
Australza
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Australia
 and
Malaysia
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 in 1980 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, the vast majority of
Australian
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the Australian
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population
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 was female
in
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at
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 the given time, whilst that of
Malaysian
Correct article usage
the Malaysian
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population
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 was male.
Besides
Linking Words
, the total
population
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 of the two countries both increased.
According to
Linking Words
 the information shown in the table, the total
population
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 of
Malaysia
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 grew almost two times from 13.1
million
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people
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 to 24.3
million
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people
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 during the 22 years,
while
Linking Words
 that of Australia rose from 14.1
million
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people
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 to 19.6
million
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people
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the female
population
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 of Australia was superior to the male one by 50.1% and 49,9% which was
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in extremely
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extremely
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extreme
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 contrast to the situation in
Malaysia
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 as the male proportion was 50.3% in 1980 and 50.6% In 2002. When it comes to the birth rate, the birth rate of Australia slightly increased from 1.2% to 1.3% ,
however
Linking Words
, that of
Malaysia
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 decreased
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
1
Change preposition
by 1
show examples
% from 3.2% to 2.2%,
Submitted by s99104032 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words malaysia, population, million, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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