With the widespread use of the Internet, more people choose to work or study from home. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays as the
internet
Use synonyms
has been widely used around the globe, many
people
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opt to work from home or even take courses via the
internet
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.
Although
Linking Words
solely working or studying from
the
Correct article usage
a
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distance via the
internet
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connection can cause mental stress, I support the view that it can reduce the cost for commuters and students. On the one hand,
long-tern
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long-term
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distance education and work will
putting
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put
be putting
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more pressure on mental health, it is because it loses the touch of
human
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humans
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. Social interaction is essential for maintaining a healthy mental status,
whereas
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communicating via the
internet
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completely can disconnect individuals from their wider society which may negatively impact
on
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apply
show examples
their social lives and cause
the
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a
show examples
sense of isolation.
For example
Linking Words
, during the Covid-19
pandamic
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pandemic
, the number of workers and students who have been diagnosed with
the
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apply
show examples
depression surged
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to the
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the
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a
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historical high, as
the
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apply
show examples
face-to-face communication is strictly prohibited.
However
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,
this
Linking Words
cannot overshadow the
benefit
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benefits
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brought by
this
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change.
On the other hand
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, working and studying on the
internet
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has greatly saved
people
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's money, energy and time.
As the
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The
show examples
commuting is not required for distance workers and learners, which will drastically save their money and time. With
the
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a
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stable network connection,
people
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are able to turn on their electronic devices at their
home
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homes
show examples
and work or study directly without worrying about missing
the
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apply
show examples
public transport or paying for car fuel. In conclusion, even though working and learning solely rely on the
internet
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may cause mental
issue
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issues
show examples
, I believe that it benefits
people
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more as it greatly saves more money and time
due to
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its convenient nature.
Submitted by Ming on

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Task Achievement
To enhance your task achievement, it would be beneficial to provide more specific examples related to how working or studying from home saves money and time. This would solidify your arguments and offer clearer evidence to support your views.
Task Achievement
Adding a few sentences that acknowledge opposing views could also strengthen your argument by showing a balanced understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to seamlessly connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will make your essay flow more smoothly and enhance its overall cohesion.
Task Achievement
Consider revisiting your discussion about the disadvantages to make it more substantial by incorporating more detail and evidence. This could offer a more balanced consideration of both sides of the argument.
Logical Structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively encapsulate the main points of your essay. This provides a strong framework for your argument.
Supported Main Points
You have successfully supported your main points with general examples, which helps in elucidating your arguments.
Logical Structure
The structure of your paragraphs is logical and aids in the progression of your argument, contributing to the essay's overall coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • flexible schedule
  • commuting
  • carbon emissions
  • productivity
  • distractions
  • isolation
  • collaboration
  • remote communication
  • overworking
  • burnout
  • self-discipline
  • self-motivation
What to do next:
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