IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You work for a company. You have seen someinfornation online about a training course that would be useful for your work. Write a letter to your manager. In the letter: Give details of the course Say how the course would be useful Explain how the company could help you to do this course.

#work #company #someinfornation #course #manager
Dear Sir, The main endeavor for writing
this
 letter is to aware you about a program that could be useful at our workplace. The
course
 name is
food
 safety training. The
conestoga
Change the capitalization
Conestoga
show examples
 college is providing education at free education about
food
 handling and safety techniques. The online classes are held
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every weekend
at
Change preposition
from
show examples
 10 Am to 3 PM. After completing
this
course
, a person can get a certificate after clearing the exam, which is valid for 3 years. The
enrollement
Correct your spelling
enrollment
 cost of
exam
Add an article
the exam
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 is $80.
However
, to meet the public health standards each employee at our store needs
this
 certificate. . In
this
course
, candidates will learn about the safety measures
while
preaparing
Correct your spelling
preparing
food
as well as
food
 handling techniques at restaurants.
Therefore
, we can provide good and healthy meals to our customers. It would be
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 for our store if the workers
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
this
 certificate.
Moreover
, you can motivate employees to participate in
this
course
 by paying the exam fees. We would really appreciate
you
Change the pronoun
your
show examples
 help. Yours faithfully, ABC
Submitted by lovekirandeepk on

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Structure
To enhance the logical structure of your letter, consider using clearer and more precise transitions between your paragraphs. For example, instead of 'However, to meet the public health standards each employee at our store needs this certificate. .', you could say 'Furthermore, meeting public health standards requires every employee in our store to possess this certificate because...'
Paragraph Focus
For clearer coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. While you've generally adhered to this, consolidating or more clearly separating ideas can enhance readability.
Tone
It's important to maintain a consistent and suitable writing tone throughout your letter. While your tone is largely appropriate, paying attention to formality levels and avoiding casual language or abbreviations can improve the professional quality of your writing.
Depth of Response
Your task response is commendable as you've addressed all the points required by the prompt. To further elevate your task achievement, expand on how the course could significantly benefit the company beyond the surface-level explanation. For instance, discuss the potential for improved customer satisfaction or compliance with legal requirements.
Closing
You've effectively used a closing that maintains the professional tone of letter writing, which is good practice.
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