In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed. In which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

#areas #‘curfew’ #teenagers #doors #time #night #adult

In some parts of the US, there is a fixed

time

and

after

this

time

,young people are not permitted to go outside and they can go only with mature people.

While

I accept that

this

phenomenon can be beneficial in terms of protecting

teenagers

,I believe that

this

can deprive them of their autonomy. On the one hand,as in recent years,robbing has become a significant issue,

teenagers

can face

this

problem when they go outside without any adults.They can be beaten by robbers and even can be killed.

For example

,in many large cities,many young children are killed or beaten and their money

are

Change the verb form

show examples

taken.

Therefore

,putting a fixed

time

for all

teenagers

can be good for their life and if there is a mature person with them ,robbers can deter

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

tendency.

On the other hand

,I believe that levying

curfew

Correct article usage

a curfew

show examples

can take away children's

independency

Correct your spelling

independence

show examples

, because when they are accompanied by

mature

Add an article

a mature

show examples

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

,they may not do what they want.they can do what adults want,which can result in depriving them of autonomy,ultimately leading to problems

Change preposition

show examples

their mental health.

For example

,since fixed

time

has

implemented

Add a missing verb

been implemented

show examples

Correct article usage

the UK

show examples

, the

youngs

Correct your spelling

young

show examples

cannot do what they want when they go with their adult and

thus

,it has led to

deprivation

Add an article

the deprivation

show examples

of rights and many mental health concerns. Taking everything into account,

although

imposing

curfew

Correct article usage

a curfew

show examples

in some parts of the US can be advantageous for

teenagers

' safety,I am of the opinion that it is important to acknowledge that it can take away children's

independency

Correct your spelling

independence

show examples

Submitted by Name_1234 on Mon Apr 08 2024

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Though your essay effectively addresses the topic, incorporating a broader range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures could further strengthen your argument. Strive for precision in your language,

structure

To enhance coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Introduce your points more clearly and provide concluding sentences for each paragraph. This helps in maintaining a logical flow of ideas from one section to another.

examples

Backing up your arguments with more specific examples and evidence would make your essay more persuasive. For instance, mentioning statistical data or specific studies related to the effect of curfews on teenagers' safety and autonomy could add depth to your argument.

balanced argument

You have managed to maintain a good balance in discussing both sides of the argument, which shows your ability to analyze the question from multiple perspectives.

introduction/conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-structured, providing a clear overview of your stance on the issue.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some areas of the US, a ‘curfew’ is imposed. In which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, many people choose to be self-employed rather than to work with a company or organization. What might be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self employed?

Many students find it difficult to learn subjects like mathematics and philosophy and hence they should be optional in schools. Do you agree or disagree?

In some parts of the world, traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. Why is this happening? What measures could be taken to ensure they do not disappear.

In many countries, smoking is now illegal in public places. Many people believe that such a ban is justified. Do you agree or disagree?

Describe the last time you received an important letter or email. You should say: who the letter or email was from when you received it what it was about and explain how it made you feel.