Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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Sectors like arts , music , health , education, and technology play significant roles in a country's development . Artist
play
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plays
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a part and parcel role as they represent the culture and traditions of our country through their work
therefore
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government pays more attention towards them . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the issue. There is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who believe funding the art sector is not important
Correct determiner usage
apply
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this
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,
this
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money should be spent on sectors like healthcare , education , research centres and all .it seems to be a pretty controversial topic across the globe . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the rationale for both beliefs
as well as
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a proffer example to justify my notion .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Introduction Enhancement
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for discussing the topic, but to enhance clarity and engage the reader further, consider providing a more direct thesis statement that clearly outlines your stance or the direction of your essay.
Specific Examples
In the body paragraphs, aim to flesh out your arguments by providing more specific examples or evidence. This could involve citing studies, historical examples, or real-life events that support your viewpoint.
Add a Conclusion
It would benefit your essay to include a conclusion that summarises your arguments and reiterates your stance. This ensures that your essay has a clear beginning, middle, and end, tying all your points together cohesively.
Balanced Discussion
Try to delve deeper into both perspectives provided in the topic. While you touch on both sides, expanding on each view with more detail and balanced arguments could strengthen your essay.
Topic Understanding
You've done well in presenting the importance of arts and culture, which indicates your understanding of the topic.
Engagement with Complex Issues
Your essay initiates a conversation on a significant topic, demonstrating your ability to engage with complex issues and reflect on societal values.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government patronage
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • creative industries
  • unnecessary expense
  • essential services
  • democratize
  • private patronage
  • market forces
  • innovation
  • boost tourism
  • subjective nature
  • allocated ineffectively
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