Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?
Nowadays, it become a trend
that
children Correct word choice
for
have
personal Fix the infinitive
to have
gadget
like mobile phones with them all Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
Correct article usage
the times
times
. Fix the agreement mistake
time
This
could leads
Change the verb form
lead
a
concerning issue among the society that Change preposition
to a
introduce
adverse situations for their parents and people around them. Correct subject-verb agreement
introduces
However
, this
eassy
will discuss Correct your spelling
essay
easy
about
obstacles Remove the preposition
apply
along with
remedies to deal with this
scenario.
Ostensibly, the first prime concern to have this
nature among
society will distract kids from their Change preposition
in
study
.As Fix the agreement mistake
studies
for
as concerned, in Correct your spelling
far
this
modern era
offsprings spend Add a comma
era,
majority
of their time on mobile phones Add an article
the majority
a majority
by
playing games or doing some social activity which has been Change preposition
apply
demolising
their interest in education. Correct your spelling
diminishing
Secondly
, having freedom
to access Add an article
the freedom
the
any online application without Remove the article
apply
parent
permission can make them more socialist which could adverse effect on Fix the agreement mistake
parents
Correct article usage
the child
child
future. To put it simply, there are various Change noun form
child's
adults
apps without any restrictions on Change the noun form
adult
internet
if children begin searching and watching on it they would try to imitate it Add an article
the internet
that
could put them in diverse conditions.
Correct pronoun usage
which
However
, no doubt each notion have
its positive side Correct subject-verb agreement
has
also
. There are ample of
solutions that parent could implement on their kids to save their Change preposition
apply
life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
Firslty
, guardians should Correct your spelling
Firstly
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
spend
time with their adolescents throughout Change the verb form
spent
this
they can teach them good and bad things.For instance
,parenst
Correct your spelling
parents
aren't
required
to bring them Add a missing verb
are required
in
social events specially Change preposition
to
on
children where they can learn about mannes and Change preposition
for
discipline
of using apps on Correct article usage
the discipline
Add an article
the internet
internet
.
In conclusion, there are multifarious aspects involved that parents should Capitalize word
Internet
Unnecessary verb
apply
have
consider about their kids but Add the particle
have to
most
Correct article usage
the most
paramonunt
is to give them time Correct your spelling
paramount
Change preposition
for atleast
atleast
one person always be there to look Correct your spelling
at least
after
.Correct pronoun usage
after them
Submitted by kaurbhagwant95 on
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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas clearly and logically. It helps if you structure your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
language
Double-check your grammar and spelling, as errors can detract from the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Expand your examples with more details and explanation to more effectively support your main points.
language
Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
Remember to directly address both parts of the question: the problems children face when going online without supervision, and solutions to these problems. Provide clear and direct answers.
content
You successfully identified significant issues related to children's unsupervised internet use, such as distraction from studies and exposure to inappropriate content.
content
You offered some solutions, highlighting the importance of parental involvement.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.