Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays, it become a trend

that

Correct word choice

for

show examples

children

have

Fix the infinitive

to have

show examples

personal

gadget

Fix the agreement mistake

gadgets

show examples

like mobile phones with them all

Correct article usage

the times

show examples

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

show examples

This

Linking Words

could

leads

Change the verb form

lead

show examples

Change preposition

to a

show examples

concerning issue among the society that

introduce

Correct subject-verb agreement

introduces

show examples

adverse situations for their parents and people around them.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

eassy

Correct your spelling

essay

easy

will discuss

about

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

obstacles

along with

Linking Words

remedies to deal with

this

Linking Words

scenario. Ostensibly, the first prime concern to have

this

Linking Words

nature

among

Change preposition

show examples

society will distract kids from their

study

Fix the agreement mistake

studies

show examples

.As

for

Correct your spelling

far

show examples

as concerned, in

this

Linking Words

modern

era

Add a comma

era,

show examples

offsprings spend

majority

Add an article

the majority

a majority

show examples

of their time on mobile phones

Change preposition

apply

show examples

playing games or doing some social activity which has been

demolising

Correct your spelling

diminishing

their interest in education.

Secondly

Linking Words

, having

freedom

Add an article

the freedom

show examples

to access

the

Remove the article

apply

show examples

any online application without

parent

Fix the agreement mistake

parents

show examples

permission can make them more socialist which could adverse effect on

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

child

Change noun form

child's

show examples

future. To put it simply, there are various

adults

Change the noun form

adult

show examples

apps without any restrictions on

internet

Add an article

the internet

show examples

if children begin searching and watching on it they would try to imitate it

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

could put them in diverse conditions.

However

Linking Words

, no doubt each notion

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

its positive side

also

Linking Words

. There are ample

Change preposition

apply

show examples

solutions that parent could implement on their kids to save their

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

Firslty

Correct your spelling

Firstly

, guardians should

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

spend

Change the verb form

spent

show examples

time with their adolescents throughout

this

Linking Words

they can teach them good and bad things.

For instance

Linking Words

parenst

Correct your spelling

parents

aren't

required

Add a missing verb

are required

show examples

to bring them

Change preposition

show examples

social events specially

Change preposition

for

show examples

children where they can learn about mannes and

discipline

Correct article usage

the discipline

show examples

of using apps on

Add an article

the internet

show examples

internet

Capitalize word

Internet

show examples

. In conclusion, there are multifarious aspects involved that parents should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

have

Add the particle

have to

show examples

consider about their kids but

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

paramonunt

Correct your spelling

paramount

is to give them time

Change preposition

for atleast

show examples

atleast

Correct your spelling

at least

one person always be there to look

after

Correct pronoun usage

after them

show examples

kaurbhagwant95Mon Apr 08 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Focus on organizing your ideas clearly and logically. It helps if you structure your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

language

Double-check your grammar and spelling, as errors can detract from the clarity of your argument.

task achievement

Expand your examples with more details and explanation to more effectively support your main points.

language

Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.

task achievement

Remember to directly address both parts of the question: the problems children face when going online without supervision, and solutions to these problems. Provide clear and direct answers.

content

You successfully identified significant issues related to children's unsupervised internet use, such as distraction from studies and exposure to inappropriate content.

content

You offered some solutions, highlighting the importance of parental involvement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
45
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

262 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

unsupervised access
parental supervision
inappropriate content
online bullying
harassment
strangers
mental health
well-being
addiction
privacy
security

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinions
It is true that a great number of wildlife species are adversely affected by human activities. Some contend that it is pointless to address this problem as no solution will be effective, whereas others believe that people can still adopt some visible measures to improve the situation. In this essay, both sides will be explored, followed by my opinions.
8
band
Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
7
band
Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many individuals enjoy socializing with their colleagues from work during their free time, while others believe in separating their work matters from their personal lives. This essay discusses both groups and then I will explain why being friends with work colleagues has more merits.
7.5
band
There are many ways to find a job: newspaper advertisements, internet job search web sites, and personal recommendations. What do you think is the best way to find a job? Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.
It cannot be denied that there are several options available to hunt for a vacancy. paper advisements, online and references are different ways to research for an appointment. As far as I am concerned I believe that in the era of digitalization official sites are the best way to get a desired position.
7.5
band
Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions at home, so museums and art galleries will disappear soon. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
With modern technology finding its way into our lives, today people can easily take virtual tours to see artwork all over the world through the internet. Thus, some people believe that it is no longer needed to keep places such as museums and art galleries. However, this statement suffers from some logical and factual issues, and I hardly agree with this.

Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

Fully explain your ideas

Human activities have negative effects on plants and animal species. Some people think that it is too late to do anything about this problem. Other people believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinions

Some say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

There are many ways to find a job: newspaper advertisements, internet job search web sites, and personal recommendations. What do you think is the best way to find a job? Give reasons or examples to support your opinion.

Modern technology has made it possible for people to view exhibitions at home, so museums and art galleries will disappear soon. To what extent do you agree or disagree?