Many young children have unsupervised access to the internet and are using the internet to socialize with others. What problems do children face when going online without parental supervision? How can these problems be solved?

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Nowadays, it become a trend
that
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for

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children
have
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to have

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personal
gadget
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gadgets

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like mobile phones with them all
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the times

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times
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time

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.
This
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could
leads
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lead

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a
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to a

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concerning issue among the society that
introduce
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introduces

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adverse situations for their parents and people around them.
However
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,
this
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eassy
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essay
easy

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will discuss
about
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apply

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obstacles
along with
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remedies to deal with
this
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scenario. Ostensibly, the first prime concern to have
this
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nature
among
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in

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society will distract kids from their
study
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studies

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.As
for
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far

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as concerned, in
this
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modern
era
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era,

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offsprings spend
majority
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the majority
a majority

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of their time on mobile phones
by
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apply

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playing games or doing some social activity which has been
demolising
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diminishing

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their interest in education.
Secondly
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, having
freedom
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the freedom

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to access
the
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apply

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any online application without
parent
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parents

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permission can make them more socialist which could adverse effect on
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the child
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Correct article usage
the child

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child
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child's
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future. To put it simply, there are various
adults
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adult

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of adults. Consider changing it to singular.

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apps without any restrictions on
internet
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the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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if children begin searching and watching on it they would try to imitate it
that
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which

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could put them in diverse conditions.
However
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, no doubt each notion
have
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has

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its positive side
also
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. There are ample
of
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apply

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solutions that parent could implement on their kids to save their
life
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lives

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.
Firslty
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Firstly

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, guardians should
have
Unnecessary verb
apply

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spend
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spent

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time with their adolescents throughout
this
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they can teach them good and bad things.
For instance
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,
parenst
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parents
aren't

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required
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are required

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to bring them
in
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to

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social events specially
on
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for

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children where they can learn about mannes and
discipline
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the discipline

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of using apps on
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the internet
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Add an article
the internet

The noun phrase internet seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. In conclusion, there are multifarious aspects involved that parents should
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb have appears to be unnecessary here.

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have
Add the particle
have to

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consider about their kids but
most
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the most

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paramonunt
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paramount

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is to give them time
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for atleast
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for atleast

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atleast
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at least
one person always be there to look
after
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after them

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.

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coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas clearly and logically. It helps if you structure your essay into clear paragraphs: introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
language
Double-check your grammar and spelling, as errors can detract from the clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Expand your examples with more details and explanation to more effectively support your main points.
language
Use a range of vocabulary and sentence structures to demonstrate language proficiency.
task achievement
Remember to directly address both parts of the question: the problems children face when going online without supervision, and solutions to these problems. Provide clear and direct answers.
content
You successfully identified significant issues related to children's unsupervised internet use, such as distraction from studies and exposure to inappropriate content.
content
You offered some solutions, highlighting the importance of parental involvement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unsupervised access
  • parental supervision
  • inappropriate content
  • online bullying
  • harassment
  • strangers
  • mental health
  • well-being
  • addiction
  • privacy
  • security
What to do next:
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