“Some people say that in all levels of education too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?”

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Some individuals express that in all levels of
education
Add a comma
education,
show examples
time
is spent too much on memorizing facts and there is not
ehough
Correct your spelling
enough
time
on learning practical
skills
.
This
essay completely
agree
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agrees
show examples
with
this
statement because
students
who
attent
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attend
university
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
several years
to get
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getting
show examples
a licence and
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
months of practice in the field
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
gave
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
no experience and confidence to these new graduates. The vast majority of
students
who attend university usually spend four to six years to
finally
get a licence to
work
.
Firstly
,
students
are asked to pass several academic subjects
withing
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
this
period of
time
, and some of these academic topics are not related to their degree.
Secondly
, if they do not sustain ninety
percent
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per cent
show examples
on their written test, they might repeat the whole year, so
this
educational system
focus
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focuses
show examples
too much on
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
learning
,
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apply
show examples
and forget about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical
skills
. Another aspect is that many of these
students
lack
of
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apply
show examples
practical
skills
, so they might not feel
confidence
Replace the word
confident
show examples
with their knowledge.
To begin
with, these
students
might believe they are not ready to
work
because they feel they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not enough
skills
to practice. Another thing is that many of these escolars feel afraid to
work
because they have no idea how to apply their
theorical
Correct your spelling
theoretical
knowledge in the field.
For instance
, in
United
Correct article usage
the United
show examples
States
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States,
show examples
the vast majority of nurses have no practical
skills
on
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in
show examples
working with patients at
hospital
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hospitals
show examples
, and many of them decide to quit
theur
Correct your spelling
their
jobs.
To conclude
, many citizens believe that
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
all levels of education, the educational system
spend
Correct subject-verb agreement
spends
show examples
too many years
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
learning facts and
lose
Correct subject-verb agreement
loses
show examples
a lot of
time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
learning practical
skills
, so many
students
felt unsure about their practical
skills
and some of them
decide
Wrong verb form
decided
show examples
not to
work
because they feel afraid of working.
Submitted by cuevas14dic on

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General
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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
You effectively used paragraphs to separate your ideas, aiding in the essay's overall organization.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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