Many new technologies machines and equidment appear everywhere, and almost everyones uses them. Advantage and disadvantage

#technologies #machines #equidment #everyones #advantage

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As society develops, high technology

also

develops. Many new

technologies

machines and

equidment

Correct your spelling

equipment

appear everywhere, and almost

everyones

Correct your spelling

everyone

uses them. There is no age limit, everybody uses it, and the

increading

Correct your spelling

increasing

use

of new

technologies

children

also

affects their free

time

First,

children

using new

technologies

smart

Correct your spelling

smartphones

show examples

phone, television in their free

time

helps them relax after a tiring school day or when they finish their homework. they can chat with friends, watch

some

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

movies,

play

Correct word choice

and play

show examples

game

Fix the agreement mistake

games

show examples

which

make

Change the verb form

makes

show examples

them happy. High

technologies

bring

alot

Correct your spelling

a lot

benefits

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of benefits

show examples

, but almost the benefit it brings about entertainment.

Beside

Replace the word

Besides

show examples

, when

children

use

their free

time

touse

Correct your spelling

to use

show examples

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

or television, they will be too focused and not face-to-face with other people.

Example

Change preposition

For example

show examples

in the past, when there

was

Change the verb form

were

show examples

no high

technologies

Fix the agreement mistake

technology

show examples

children

often invited each other to go out

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and

played

Wrong verb form

play

show examples

outdoor activities, connected with

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

. If

technologies

develop, going out to meet friends will become less frequent. The

children

will have some

issue

Fix the agreement mistake

issues

show examples

about

Change preposition

with

show examples

their eyes, height, ... because they

use

too much their devices. In general, the disadvantages of new

technologies

are still greater. Its purpose is only to bring entertainment but is not good for

children'

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children's

show examples

health

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or in any way. Parents should not let their

children

use

smart devices in their free

time

. It is inevitable that new

technologies

will develop more and more, but it is better not to let

children

use

the device too much.

Sum

Fix the infinitive

To sum

show examples

up, new

technologies

has

Change the verb form

have

show examples

changed so many feature activities of

children

in their free

time

. And until now it is still a hot topic for everyone to talk about

Submitted by ntl250605 on Tue Apr 09 2024

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Spelling and Grammar

It's important to conduct a careful review of your writing for spelling and grammar errors to enhance clarity. For example, 'equidment' should be 'equipment', 'everyones' should be 'everyone', and 'alot' should be 'a lot'. Correct spelling supports clearer communication.

Vocabulary and Sentence Complexity

Consider using a wider range of sentence structures and more complex vocabulary to add depth to your essay. This can also make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate a higher level of English proficiency.

Development of Ideas

While you've covered the advantages and disadvantages as the task asked, developing your points further and incorporating more varied examples could strengthen your argument. Consider exploring wider implications or suggesting potential solutions to the issues raised.

Task Response

You've successfully identified both the advantages and disadvantages of new technologies, which meets the task requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay is structured in a logical way, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This organization makes your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

269 words

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Many new technologies machines and equidment appear everywhere, and almost everyones uses them. Advantage and disadvantage

Fully explain your ideas

The typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in the class will not exist by the year 2050 to what extent do you agree or disagree?

The crime rate in teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries in recent years. What are the causes, and what are the solutions?

Topic: Obesity is a major healthy problem. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?

In some countries, health care and education are only partially funded by the government. Some people argue that the government should be responsible for covering the full cost of these services. Do you support or oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

Earlier technological developments brought more benefits and changed the life of ordinary people more than recent developments ever will. To what extent do you agree of disagree?