Write about the following topic: In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
As technology and civilization
getting
more developed, more people would desert suburbs and move into urban cities. In my personal opinion, Wrong verb form
got
this
is a negative development.
There is no doubt that living in urban areas Linking Words
have
its own Change the verb form
has
advantage
. Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
for instance
, more Linking Words
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
on
Change preposition
for
career wide
, Add a hyphen
career-wide
all
kinds of resources are more reachable, Correct word choice
and all
also
for safety reasons and medical reasons it is more reasonable to choose Linking Words
city
over Correct article usage
the city
suburbs
. Correct article usage
the suburbs
However
, speaking Linking Words
in
personal experience, there Change preposition
from
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
also
abundant Linking Words
shortcoming
that I believe people could easily Fix the agreement mistake
shortcomings
over watch
.
Correct your spelling
overwatch
First,
Linking Words
although
development brings prosperity, Linking Words
but
it Remove the conjunction
apply
also
comes with other costs. The Linking Words
pollutions
around city areas Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
are
substantially worse result Correct subject-verb agreement
is
from
the density of Change preposition
of
population
living inside. It not only affects health but Correct article usage
the population
also
Linking Words
environment
itself. Especially the temperature Add an article
the environment
rises
so drastically in urban places these days has caused the greenhouse effect even more severe.
Other than physical impacts, mental pressure is usually underestimated In Wrong verb form
rising
this
situation Linking Words
due to
its immeasurable Linking Words
characteristic
. Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics
Me
personally, Correct pronoun usage
I
are
often overwhelmed by the fast pace and how effectively the information Wrong verb form
am
have
exchanged. Despite Wrong verb form
has been
these
acceleration has contributed to Correct determiner usage
this
humankind in
progress and breakthroughs, it still remains a question mark to me Change preposition
humankind's
that
whether it is Correct word choice
apply
a
right direction.
I believe Correct article usage
the
this
uneven population situation will eventually result in other issues in the future, but it seems like for now Linking Words
this
Linking Words
changing
is inevitable.Replace the word
change
Submitted by lil40629890 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
It's great to see you expressing a strong viewpoint and providing reasons for your perspective. Remember, adding more specific examples from your experience or observations could strengthen your argument further.
task achievement
You’ve maintained a clear position throughout your essay which is good. To further enhance your response, consider expanding on your ideas with more detailed examples.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a good attempt at structuring your ideas. However, working on creating a more defined separation between paragraphs and maintaining a logical flow can increase clarity.
coherence cohesion
For an even stronger essay, ensure that you start with an introductory paragraph that clearly outlines your stance and conclude with a paragraph summarizing your main points and restating your view.
task achievement
Your essay articulates a clear stance on the issue, which is commendable.
coherence cohesion
You effectively use compound sentences to express your ideas, showcasing your grasp of the language.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.