Many offices authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right of course. Give reason for your opinion.
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The restriction or banning of smoking not
also
in the offices or in their surroundings Rephrase
only
are imply
for many companies. Change the verb form
are implied
are implying
Additionally
, Goverment
has been acting strongly towards Correct your spelling
government
this
issue and prohibiting the use of cigarettes in public spaces. Wether
other people believe it is taking away our free will, Correct your spelling
Whether
i
think is good for everyone, so Change the capitalization
I
im
strongly agree with Correct your spelling
I'm
this
initiative.
Firstly
, smoking is a detrimental habit for our health
, although
it is not a
issue only with Change the article
an
smoker
, it is Fix the agreement mistake
smokers
also
for others who does
not practice Change the verb form
do
this
horrible practice. Moreover
, scientifically it is related with
deeper problems in our system. Change preposition
to
For instance
, changing the morphology of lung tissues leading up
to Wrong verb form
leads
a
lung cancer Remove the article
apply
also
cholesterol and triglycerides increased
Wrong verb form
increase
as a result
of cardiovascular diseases just like the main causes of smoking.
From my perspective, it is beneficial to address this
matter making
rules to keep Change preposition
by making
save
or keep away the healthy population who are against Replace the word
safe
of
Change preposition
apply
this
bad habit. Moreover
, it is beneficial for the country because the health
system will not be
collapse if they Unnecessary verb
apply
are having
more unhealthy people Wrong verb form
have
in
their premises or Change preposition
on
giving
Wrong verb form
give
long lasting
treatments who in their moment Add a hyphen
long-lasting
has
the opportunity to Correct subject-verb agreement
have
choose
a right Verb problem
make
desicion
.
Correct your spelling
decision
To sum up
, smoking yes, it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
an
personal choice Change the article
a
however
, it can affects
others. Change the verb form
affect
In addition
can be a long term
problem in the Add a hyphen
long-term
health
care sector where can have to maintain those people, not only with medicines or treatment but also
in hospitals as a consequence
deteriorating the health
system.Submitted by ernestogall7 on
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
You make a good attempt at presenting both sides of the argument, enhancing the coherence of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.