Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific examples to support your preference.

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Beyond doubt, there have been many discussions revolving around the issue of whether some group supports that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be
people
receive advice and listen to their family and
friends
for learning or others agree that they ought to learn by themselves.
Although
both ideas are respectful, I highly support the second idea. In the next paragraph, I will delve into the main advantages in their detail. First of all, parents have very good experiences because they
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
a lot of things
due to
their age in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
Therefore
, most of them usually can try to guide in the right direction.
Besides
,
friends
are
also
very close ones
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
us.
For
this
reason, they usually help to us
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make the right decisions.
For example
, any
person
wants to attempt
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new business. If their family or
friends
have some pieces of information about it, their recommendations will be very valuable.
Moreover
,
people
will prevent their loss of time or money. All these are taken into consideration, it seems that listening to the advice of family and
friends
is very plausible.
On the other hand
, a
person
who learns about anything by yourself is important. That’s why if
people
learn by themselves,
this
can lead to some mistakes.
Consequently
, these
people
can learn well
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next time.
Furthermore
, the learning process can change for any
person
. Sometimes learning anything can be easy
one
Change preposition
for one
show examples
person
,
however
Correct word choice
but
show examples
another one feels some difficulties. It does not mean that it is difficult in general. What’s more, young
people
especially are aware of innovations compared to their family. Thereby, some situations about learning may change.
To sum up
, I support
people
should learn from their personal experiences because they can learn very well
as
Change preposition
from
show examples
their noticed rights and mistakes. It can be good that
people
listen to
advice
Add an article
the advice
show examples
of their family and
friends
when they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
need it.
Submitted by sabinanezar93 on

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Language Use
To enrich your essay, consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures. This will enhance both clarity and engagement.
Task Response
While you've provided examples, try to offer deeper, more detailed illustrations of your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Structure
Consider providing a clearer, more explicit thesis statement in your introduction. This will guide your reader more effectively through your argument.
Coherence
You've effectively used paragraphs to separate and organize your ideas, which aids in readability and coherence.
Task Response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the task. Well done on this balanced approach.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leverage
  • wisdom
  • pitfalls
  • informed decisions
  • trials and errors
  • impactful
  • memorable
  • foster
  • resilience
  • navigate
  • guidance
  • well-rounded
  • anecdotal evidence
  • theoretical
  • persuasive
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