IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the best way of learning about life is by listening to the advice of family and friends. Other people believe that the best way of learning about life is through personal experience. Compare the advantages of these two different ways of learning about life. Which do you think is preferable? Use specific examples to support your preference.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Beyond doubt, there have been many discussions revolving around the issue of whether some group supports that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be
people
Use synonyms
 receive advice and listen to their family and
friends
Use synonyms
 for learning or others agree that they ought to learn by themselves.
Although
Linking Words
 both ideas are respectful, I highly support the second idea. In the next paragraph, I will delve into the main advantages in their detail. First of all, parents have very good experiences because they
experienced
Wrong verb form
experience
show examples
 a lot of things
due to
Linking Words
 their age in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, most of them usually can try to guide in the right direction.
Besides
Linking Words
,
friends
Use synonyms
 are
also
Linking Words
 very close ones
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 us.
For
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 reason, they usually help to us
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
we
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
make the right decisions.
For example
Linking Words
, any
person
Use synonyms
 wants to attempt
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a new business. If their family or
friends
Use synonyms
 have some pieces of information about it, their recommendations will be very valuable.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 will prevent their loss of time or money. All these are taken into consideration, it seems that listening to the advice of family and
friends
Use synonyms
 is very plausible.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, a
person
Use synonyms
 who learns about anything by yourself is important. That’s why if
people
Use synonyms
 learn by themselves,
this
Linking Words
 can lead to some mistakes.
Consequently
Linking Words
, these
people
Use synonyms
 can learn well
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the next time.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the learning process can change for any
person
Use synonyms
. Sometimes learning anything can be easy
one
Change preposition
for one
show examples
person
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Correct word choice
but
show examples
 another one feels some difficulties. It does not mean that it is difficult in general. What’s more, young
people
Use synonyms
 especially are aware of innovations compared to their family. Thereby, some situations about learning may change.
To sum up
Linking Words
, I support
people
Use synonyms
 should learn from their personal experiences because they can learn very well
as
Change preposition
from
show examples
 their noticed rights and mistakes. It can be good that
people
Use synonyms
 listen to
advice
Add an article
the advice
show examples
 of their family and
friends
Use synonyms
 when they
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
need it.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Use
To enrich your essay, consider incorporating a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures. This will enhance both clarity and engagement.
Task Response
While you've provided examples, try to offer deeper, more detailed illustrations of your points. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Structure
Consider providing a clearer, more explicit thesis statement in your introduction. This will guide your reader more effectively through your argument.
Coherence
You've effectively used paragraphs to separate and organize your ideas, which aids in readability and coherence.
Task Response
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a good understanding of the task. Well done on this balanced approach.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • leverage
  • wisdom
  • pitfalls
  • informed decisions
  • trials and errors
  • impactful
  • memorable
  • foster
  • resilience
  • navigate
  • guidance
  • well-rounded
  • anecdotal evidence
  • theoretical
  • persuasive
What to do next:
Look at other essays: