IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

You experienced an incident on public transport that caused you distress. Write a letter to the manager of the public transport company. In your letter: describe the incident;explain how this incident affected you and suggest what could be done about it

#incident #transport #distress #manager #company
Dear MadamI am writing
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 you
Correct your spelling
regarding
regardan
Correct pronoun usage
regardan this
show examples
,I usually
utiliaz
Correct your spelling
utilise
 public transport.The reason I am writing to you
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the regarding object to gain experience
to utilize
Change preposition
in utilizing
show examples
 public transport.
A
Change the article
An
show examples
 amicable friend
persuade
Wrong verb form
persuaded
show examples
my
Correct pronoun usage
me
show examples
 to make use of
bus
Add an article
the bus
show examples
 for went to work on 12 March 2015 at 8 a.m. Regrettably steersman
bus’s
Change noun form
buses do
show examples
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
 conform to rigid
ruls
Correct your spelling
rules
 and
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
exceed the speed limit and jump the light. I proposed that he should
decreas
Correct your spelling
decrease
 speed but he evaded his responsibility and he postponed cases
collaide
Correct your spelling
collide
collided
 with
car
Add an article
the car
a car
show examples
. It caused increased stress
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 all
passengers
Correct article usage
the passengers
show examples
 and he is very impolite, he
dont
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 follow
me
Change the pronoun
my
show examples
 advice i have a proposition for you,you should
boom
Verb problem
boost
show examples
 job performance through
educations
Fix the agreement mistake
education
show examples
 fields like
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Compliance with the rules,punctuality and … by an acceptable educational
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
.
Submitted by mayaghini on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Language Clarity
Use clear and straightforward language for better understanding.
Letter Format
Remember to use proper greetings and closings in formal letters.
Structure
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each discussing a specific aspect of your concern.
Formality
Address the recipient properly to maintain the formality of the letter.
Detail
You've described the incident in detail, which is crucial for understanding the scenario.
Constructive Suggestion
Your suggestion for improvement shows proactive thinking.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: