Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? High schools should allow students to study the courses that students want to study.

A significant number of individuals believe that high school should permit
teenagers
to be educated in
subjects
that
students
prefer to learn. I am in complete agreement with
this
viewpoint because of the fact that if
students
study
subjects
that they want, they are interested in studying and they are good at the subject that they want and it is better than
teenagers
who are not good at twelve
subjects
. The most fundamental
reason
why many consider
such
a view is that if
students
study
with desire, they begin to strive for success. The
reason
why, it is the best opportunity for them and they get motivation from
this
chance,
for example
, a single teacher
do
Correct subject-verb agreement
does
show examples
not handle only one subject,
thus
the
students
do not manage twelve
subjects
, too. So I totally agree with
this
idea.
In addition
, they are studying
study
easily and it is the best way to learn languages or other themes and it is the best opportunity to
students
that the
government
license to
students
study
a single subject,
due to
, it is easy to enter kind of exams for them in the future because, if they
study
subjects
what they want, they can achieve their dreams earlier than others and it is good for parents, too.
For example
, some teachers want to children
study
well and they must try to be interested in learning something. The second worth mentioning
reason
supporting
this
point is that, if they
study
with wanting, they can enjoy learning languages or
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
subjectsubjects
Correct your spelling
subject subjects
. The
reason
why, when
students
must
study
twelve
subjects
,
it
Add a missing verb
is it
show examples
destroys their motivation and they do not want to
study
anything and it is difficult for them.
For instance
,
moreover
, in recent times, the
government
has complicated the
subjects
,
thus
, my cousin does not want to
study
or learn something.
Furthermore
, the
subjects
are very difficult to
study
for
teenagers
and they must buy a book in every session some people may be destitute and they
do
Verb problem
are
show examples
not capable of buying a book.
Therefore
, the
government
should simplify
subjects
. In stark contrast,
however
, it would
also
be fair to admit that numerous
teenagers
may stop
studyingstudy
Correct your spelling
studying
because if the
government
give freedom to
students
, they may stop learning something.
Nonetheless
, I would still consider the
government
to
study
what
students
want to be more advantageous.
To sum up
, I would like to, once again, reiterate my view that high schools should permit to
study
what
students
want remains exceedingly beneficial
due to
the fact that
students
begin to
study
well and they may want to
study
languages or other
subjects
.
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences are fully elaborated and clearly linked to your main argument. In some parts, ideas could benefit from further explanation or examples to strengthen the argument.
task achievement
To enhance clarity, pay attention to the accuracy of your language, especially verb forms and subject-verb agreements.
coherence cohesion
Try to diversify your sentence structures to add sophistication to your essay. This can involve employing a mix of complex and compound sentences.
task achievement
Revise the essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance readability and professionalism. Examples include 'the students do not manage twelve subjects, too' which could be improved for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate clear paragraphing with distinct introductory sentences for each paragraph. This will make your essay more organized and easier to follow.
task achievement
Provides a clear opinion and supports it with reasons and examples.
task achievement
Demonstrates a good range of vocabulary relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, encapsulating your viewpoint effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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