Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

#celebrities #money #politicians #development

These days, it has been noticed that public figures are been paid well compared to government officials and

this

can be

due to

the benefit of social media platforms and the attention they receive that allows them to get both national and international contracts. I think

this

is a positive development because it will encourage more people to go into professions that attract fame

such

as the entertainment industry

Firstly

, celebrities earn more money than politicians because youngsters who are lovers of online sites

such

as YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and TalkTalk

usuallyusually

Correct your spelling

usually

go to these platforms to watch their videos or look at their pictures and some even go as far as subscribing to their page or channels so that they will be notified any time they either post a video or a picture or they are live online and these has attracted a lot of income because all these applications owners are paying them massively for everybody that login to their page.

For example

, a study that was carried out among young adults on the applications they

usr

Correct your spelling

use

daily and how long they spend on these sites showed that most people go on

entertainments

Fix the agreement mistake

entertainment

show examples

sites staying up to

12hours

Correct your spelling

12 hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a day on them and

this

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

in turn generated more income for public icons than the government official who

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not have

such

privilege .

Submitted by ayodelesam.adebisi on Tue Apr 09 2024

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Organizational Structure

Try to clearly structure your essay with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, allowing your argument to flow more naturally.

Supporting Examples

Provide clear examples to support your points. While you mentioned a study, more specific details about it would strengthen your argument.

Argument Development

Consider exploring both sides of the argument, especially when addressing whether the topic is a positive or negative development. This will make your essay more balanced and comprehensive.

Grammar/Spelling

Be mindful of typographical errors (e.g., duplicate words, misspellings) and work on improving the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.

Relevance

You effectively use social media platforms as a contemporary context to discuss the phenomenon, which regards relevance to current societal trends.

Engagement/Opinion

Engaged with the topic enthusiastically, showcasing clear personal opinion towards the development being positive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

228 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

Include an introduction and conclusion

The pie charts demonstrate the percentage of participant from different organizations in 2008 and 2014.

Some people say that to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus more on reducing environmental pollution and housing problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Research into new types of medicine and treatments are essential for improving health and deal with disease. Who do you think should fund these researches: private companies, individuals or governments?

Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut-down the rate of committing crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

Leaders and directors in an organization are normally older people. Some people think having a younger leader would be better. Do you agree or disagree?