Nowadays celebrities earn more money than politicians. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or negative development? You should write at least 250 words.

These days, it has been noticed that public figures are been paid well compared to government officials and
this
can be
due to
the benefit of social media platforms and the attention they receive that allows them to get both national and international contracts. I think
this
is a positive development because it will encourage more people to go into professions that attract fame
such
as the entertainment industry
Firstly
, celebrities earn more money than politicians because youngsters who are lovers of online sites
such
as YouTube, Facebook, Instagram and TalkTalk
usuallyusually
Correct your spelling
usually
go to these platforms to watch their videos or look at their pictures and some even go as far as subscribing to their page or channels so that they will be notified any time they either post a video or a picture or they are live online and these has attracted a lot of income because all these applications owners are paying them massively for everybody that login to their page.
For example
, a study that was carried out among young adults on the applications they
usr
Correct your spelling
use
daily and how long they spend on these sites showed that most people go on
entertainments
Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
show examples
sites staying up to
12hours
Correct your spelling
12 hours
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a day on them and
this
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
in turn generated more income for public icons than the government official who
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have
such
privilege .
Submitted by ayodelesam.adebisi on

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Organizational Structure
Try to clearly structure your essay with separate paragraphs for introduction, body, and conclusion. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, allowing your argument to flow more naturally.
Supporting Examples
Provide clear examples to support your points. While you mentioned a study, more specific details about it would strengthen your argument.
Argument Development
Consider exploring both sides of the argument, especially when addressing whether the topic is a positive or negative development. This will make your essay more balanced and comprehensive.
Grammar/Spelling
Be mindful of typographical errors (e.g., duplicate words, misspellings) and work on improving the overall coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Relevance
You effectively use social media platforms as a contemporary context to discuss the phenomenon, which regards relevance to current societal trends.
Engagement/Opinion
Engaged with the topic enthusiastically, showcasing clear personal opinion towards the development being positive.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • endorsements
  • revenue streams
  • global presence
  • diversified branding
  • income sources
  • free-market principles
  • market value
  • government budgets
  • public funds
  • public perception
  • value generation
  • bureaucratic
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
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