Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In
this
contemporary world , some people
believe's excessive use
of computers and smartphones in
Change preposition
as
medium
of communication has Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
negative
influence on Add an article
a negative
young
Correct article usage
the young
generation
reading and writing skills. I partly agree with the statement , in Change noun form
generation's
this
essay I will explain in more details
.
On one hand , advancement in technology makesFix the agreement mistake
detail
youngesters
Correct your spelling
youngsters
to
become tech bound . With the help of Fix the infinitive
apply
internet
,it become easy to Add an article
the internet
use
gadgets and connect to people
around the world with their loved ones . For instance
, social media networks like face book
, Correct your spelling
facebook
instagram
and WhatsApp enable Change the capitalization
Instagram
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
to talk with their friends and relatives through video call
and Fix the agreement mistake
calls
sharing
their knowledge , ideas and notes.Online classes revolutionised the way of learning , no longer Wrong verb form
share
students
need to go Add a missing verb
do students
school
like traditional classes as Change preposition
to school
then
can listen from their comfort zone .
Correct your spelling
they
On the other hand
, others
Change noun form
others'
other's
concern
are real , many Fix the agreement mistake
concerns
people
are glued to their gadget
which adversely Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
affect
their analysing , reasoning , reading and writing Change the verb form
affects
skill
.Fix the agreement mistake
skills
Futher
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
more
it will spoil their creative thinking Correct quantifier usage
apply
as well as
their mental health . For
example
many younger generations are addicted to video games Add a comma
example,
through out
the day Correct your spelling
throughout
with out
Correct your spelling
without
and
proper food and physical activities. As we can Correct word choice
apply
seen
Change the verb form
see
people
are getting lenses at early
age Add an article
an early
due to
excessive use
of blue light screens.moreover
addiction to Add a comma
moreover,
the
gadgets will Correct article usage
apply
kills
the social connection outside.
Change the verb form
kill
To conclude
,as
there are numerous advantages of using Correct word choice
apply
the
computers and mobile Correct article usage
apply
phone
in Fix the agreement mistake
phones
this
revolutionise world to connect the
Correct article usage
apply
people
. Where as
Correct your spelling
Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
over
Correct your spelling
overuse
use
can leads
effects to Wrong verb form
lead
physical
and mental growth of young Add an article
the physical
people
.Submitted by nikhilguni on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Response
Ensure your essay stays focused on the topic throughout. While your examples are good, some parts could be more directly related to how technology impacts reading and writing skills.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try to organize your ideas more logically. A clearer division between paragraphs and a more structured flow of ideas will enhance your essay's readability.
Language Usage
Be cautious of small grammatical errors and typos, such as 'believe's' instead of 'believes' and 'youngesters' instead of 'youngsters'. These minor errors can detract from the overall quality of your writing.
Content
Good use of examples to support your arguments. Your mention of social media and online classes as double-edged swords is particularly effective.
Structure
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly stating your partial agreement with the statement and summarizing your key points.