Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #skill

this

contemporary world , some

people

believe's excessive

use

of computers and smartphones

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show examples

medium

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mediums

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of communication has

negative

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a negative

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influence on

young

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the young

show examples

generation

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generation's

show examples

reading and writing skills. I partly agree with the statement , in

this

essay I will explain in more

details

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detail

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. On one hand , advancement in technology makes

youngesters

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youngsters

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apply

show examples

become tech bound . With the help of

internet

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the internet

show examples

,it become easy to

use

gadgets and connect to

people

around the world with their loved ones .

For instance

, social media networks like

face book

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facebook

show examples

instagram

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Instagram

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and WhatsApp enable

the

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apply

show examples

people

to talk with their friends and relatives through video

call

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calls

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and

sharing

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show examples

their knowledge , ideas and notes.Online classes revolutionised the way of learning , no longer

students

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do students

show examples

need to go

school

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to school

show examples

like traditional classes as

then

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they

show examples

can listen from their comfort zone .

On the other hand

others

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others'

other's

show examples

concern

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concerns

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are real , many

people

are glued to their

gadget

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gadgets

show examples

which adversely

affect

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affects

show examples

their analysing , reasoning , reading and writing

skill

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skills

show examples

Futher

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Furthermore

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apply

show examples

it will spoil their creative thinking

as well as

their mental health .

For

example

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example,

show examples

many younger generations are addicted to video games

through out

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throughout

show examples

the day

with out

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without

show examples

and

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apply

show examples

proper food and physical activities. As we can

seen

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see

show examples

people

are getting lenses at

early

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an early

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age

due to

excessive

use

of blue light screens.

moreover

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moreover,

show examples

addiction to

the

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apply

show examples

gadgets will

kills

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kill

show examples

the social connection outside.

To conclude

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apply

show examples

there are numerous advantages of using

the

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apply

show examples

computers and mobile

phone

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phones

show examples

this

revolutionise world to connect

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

Where as

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Whereas

show examples

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apply

show examples

over

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overuse

show examples

use

can

leads

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lead

show examples

effects to

physical

Add an article

the physical

show examples

and mental growth of young

people

Submitted by nikhilguni on Wed Apr 10 2024

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Task Response

Ensure your essay stays focused on the topic throughout. While your examples are good, some parts could be more directly related to how technology impacts reading and writing skills.

Coherence & Cohesion

Try to organize your ideas more logically. A clearer division between paragraphs and a more structured flow of ideas will enhance your essay's readability.

Language Usage

Be cautious of small grammatical errors and typos, such as 'believe's' instead of 'believes' and 'youngesters' instead of 'youngsters'. These minor errors can detract from the overall quality of your writing.

Content

Good use of examples to support your arguments. Your mention of social media and online classes as double-edged swords is particularly effective.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, clearly stating your partial agreement with the statement and summarizing your key points.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
42Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

270 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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