Some people believe that universities shold only accept students with the highest marks while others believe that some students with low marks should have an opportunity. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Education is a deep ocean of knowledge and there
are
Change the verb form
is
Fix the agreement mistake
segments
segment
of people saying that Fix the agreement mistake
segments
insititute
should take admission just Correct your spelling
institute
Replace the word
intelligent
intelligence
Replace the word
intelligent
students
who achieve Correct article usage
the highest
highest
marks but the rest Correct article usage
the highest
Change preposition
apply
of
think that everyone should privilege to Change preposition
apply
study
in universities. I will explain both views with my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.
The first
and foremost, most Correct article usage
First
of
learners do hard work Change preposition
apply
for achieving
better Change preposition
to achieve
result
and they take more interest in Fix the agreement mistake
results
study
rather than other activities Wrong verb form
studying
due to
it
they Correct pronoun usage
this
get
Verb problem
achieve
a
success in their lives. To illustrate it, in 2013, Remove the article
apply
Correct article usage
a
the
survey done by Correct article usage
a
students
of Punjab Capitalize word
University
university
Capitalize word
University
clearily
that Correct your spelling
clearly
Correct pronoun usage
apply
who
juveniles Correct pronoun usage
apply
do
more Verb problem
focus
concentrate
on Verb problem
apply
study
and universities accept those learners with Correct article usage
the highest
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
Fix the agreement mistake
grades
grade
than others. Fix the agreement mistake
grades
Thus
, a lot of colleges agree to receive these pupils.
On the other hand
, discrimination is not good among students
because as says that candle loses nothing by enlightiing
other candles. Correct your spelling
lighting
enlightening
Along with
plethora of adolescent
Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
want
to Correct pronoun usage
who want
take
Verb problem
be
admission
Replace the word
admitted
in
colleges but they do not have better Change preposition
to
score
as comparison Fix the agreement mistake
scores
intelligence
adults. To example Replace the word
intelligent
it
, an article published in Correct your spelling
is
a
newspaper Hindustan Times of India that poor Correct article usage
the
students
who wanted to study
in a reputed colleges
but Correct the article-noun agreement
a reputed college
reputed colleges
they
did not have Correct pronoun usage
apply
requirement
marks and they had been against Replace the word
the required
of
Change preposition
apply
the
Remove the article
apply
such
universities. Therefore
, education have
to provide Change the verb form
has
equal
to all juveniles without any partiality.
In conclusion, Replace the word
equality
according to
my view, rights should Change preposition
in
have
equal in Verb problem
be
Correct article usage
the eduaction
eduaction
system because everyone Correct your spelling
education
want
to Change the verb form
wants
get
Verb problem
apply
success
in their lives. Replace the word
succeed
Although
they do not get highest
Change the article
the highest
score
in their Fix the agreement mistake
scores
pervious
studies Correct your spelling
previous
but
they can achieve better Remove the conjunction
apply
score
in Fix the agreement mistake
scores
their
future.Change the word
the
Submitted by harmanpreetkang20 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
structure
Your essay provides a clear discussion of both views and your opinion, which is great! To further improve, ensure each paragraph introduces its main idea immediately, making your arguments even clearer to the reader.
cohesion
To enhance coherence, try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly across the essay.
supporting details
Incorporating specific examples to support your points strengthens your argument. Consider adding more detailed examples from credible sources to make your points more persuasive.
balanced discussion
You've done a good job of discussing both sides of the argument before stating your own view in the conclusion.
structure
Your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined, effectively framing your essay.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.