the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.

the graph below shows the average monthly change in the prices of three metals during 2014.
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The graph illustrates the average price change among three different materials in 2014.
It is clear that
Linking Words
all materials showed a fluctuating trend from January to December. In January,
Nickel
Use synonyms
stood
at the first stage
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of change and peak of 6%
then
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Copper
Use synonyms
saw the second stage with 2% of
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
Change preposition
apply
show examples
besides
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
Zinc
Correct word choice
and Zinc
show examples
stood at the lowest point with 1%. In the first half of the year,
Nickel
Use synonyms
had a downward trend which depicted
tremendous
Correct article usage
a tremendous
show examples
slump from 6% to -3%.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Copper
Use synonyms
experienced a reduction method between 1% and -1% at the same time.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
Zinc
Use synonyms
showed a noticeable increase in the first month but it had a fall flow by 4% in the next five months. From June to July
Nickel
Use synonyms
,
copper
Use synonyms
and
Zinc
Use synonyms
experienced growth of -1%, 1% and -.7% respectively. Interestingly,between
seventh
Correct article usage
the seventh
show examples
and ninth months all metals maintained the same level. From September to October,
Nickel
Use synonyms
,
zinc
Use synonyms
and
Copper
Use synonyms
showed
slight
Add an article
a slight
show examples
decline by -1%, -.7% and -.5% respectively
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
in the
last
Linking Words
season of 2014, both
Nickel
Use synonyms
and
Zinc
Use synonyms
saw
an
Change the article
a
show examples
remarkable increase of 3%
also
Linking Words
copper
Use synonyms
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose by 2% approximately.
Submitted by bakhti on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words nickel, copper, zinc with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "change" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "stood" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • average monthly change
  • prices of metals
  • trend
  • spike
  • fluctuation
  • increase
  • decrease
  • sharp rise
  • sharp fall
  • stability
  • volatility
  • data points
  • comparison
  • contrast
  • external factors
  • influences
  • market dynamics
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