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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think it's the government's responsibility to tackle environmental issues. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #responsibility
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It is sometimes contended that the authorities are the ones in charge of dealing with environmental problems. Personally, I do not completely share
such
 an approach, thinking that the onus is on both individuals and the
government
 in terms of coping with
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 deterioration. In my opinion, only collective efforts can lead to long-term effective results. On the one hand, the
government
 holds the responsibility to provide guidance for the population,
create
Correct word choice
and create
show examples
 laws and facilities aimed at improving
environmental
Correct article usage
the environmental
show examples
 situation. Without the governmental
impulse
Add a comma
impulse,
show examples
 it is hardly possible to make a change.
For instance
, only authorities can oblige people to separately collect garbage and factories to recycle it.
Therefore
, the role of the
government
 in tackling environmental issues is crucial.
On the other hand
, all individuals as a whole are supposed to be mindful
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 nature by adhering to sustainable practices and following the
government
’s instructions. Currently, in the era of consumption, despite the authorities’ urging to produce less waste, many households overconsume various goods,
thus
, producing extra garbage harmful to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature, and the
government
 can hardly influence
this
. Only if people are conscious about their consumption patterns, will it be possible to improve the situation.
Hence
, without
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
collective action governmental initiatives
at helping
Change preposition
to help
show examples
 out nature are senseless.
To sum up
, dealing with environmental problems is a multi-faceted task, which requires both the
government
’s and people’s actions.
Hence
, the responsibility is on everyone, with the
government
 obliged to provide instructions and facilities, and individuals – to abide by the rules and act sustainably.
Submitted by gulkova03 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence & Cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with clear paragraphs and a logical flow of ideas, which aids coherence and cohesion.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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