IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

You are studying for a qualification and you would like some time off work to complete it. Ask for some time off to complete a qualification Suggest what you will do latter at work if you have time off Say how the qualification helps your job or company

#qualification #time #work #latter #job #company
Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why
l
 am addressing you is that
l
 want to ask a few
time
Fix the agreement mistake
times
show examples
 about a qualification.
That is
, now
l
 am studying for a qualification and
l
 would like some
time
 off
work
 to complete it. Well,
l
 have been studying for
15days
Correct your spelling
15 days
 for my increasing knowledge and
also
l
 want to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 some
time
 off
work
 to finish it. I believe that
l
 do not do both
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
work
 and a
qualifiaction
Correct your spelling
qualification
 so
l
 ask to you a bit
time
Change preposition
of time
show examples
 off
work
 to
completed
Change the form of the verb
complete
show examples
 it. I can suggest to you, if
l
 have
time
 off,
l
 will
work
 very much and
l
 can
work
good
Change the adjective
well
show examples
.
Besides
 that,
l
 will try increasing knowledge of children in our school
as well as
this
 is the most better to
we
Change the pronoun
us
show examples
. I can teach
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
quality education to students.
Moreover
, the qualification helps to my job so
l
 would like some
time
 off operate to finish it. I hope you will understand
this
 disturbing situation and will give a helping hand to solve issues. Thank you for your attention. Yours faithfully, Bakhriddinova Sitora
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Task Achievement
Consider clarifying your points further with more elaboration on how the qualification directly benefits your job and the company. This could strengthen your task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on enhancing the clarity and organisation of your essay. Introduce your ideas succinctly, then elaborate on them in a structured manner to improve coherence and cohesion.
Language
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Using a wider range of vocabulary and grammatical structures accurately can substantially improve your overall score.
Task Achievement
You have successfully addressed all parts of the task, showing a clear relationship between your studies and your work commitments.
Positive Initiative
You've shown a positive initiative by suggesting what you will do after taking time off, which is encouraging.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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