IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The Chart below gives information about the cultural changes among people in Germany and the Uk. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The Chart below gives information about the cultural changes among people in Germany and the Uk. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar chart provides information about the change in culture between
Use synonyms
Germany
Replace the word
German
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 and
UK
Use synonyms
 residents. It shows the percentage of
shift
Fix the agreement mistake
shifts
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 in the different mindset people have.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, we can see that power distance is a constant culture in both
Germany
Use synonyms
 and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 which shows that there is an equal distribution of power in both societies.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, individualism and indulgence are more dominant in
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 compared to
Germany
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 with a percentage increase of almost 20%.
However
Linking Words
, we notice that despite an increase in indulgence and uncertainty,
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 population is less likely to bear uncertainty avoidance and pragmatism when compared to
Germany
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. We can conclude that
overall
Linking Words
, there is a
mix
Replace the word
mixed
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 acculturation
among
Change preposition
between
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Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
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 and
Germany
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 whereby each
population's
Change the noun form
populations
population
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 have different mindsets and these might depend on various circumstances
such
Linking Words
 as technological inventions, environment or contact with other cultures.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words germany, uk with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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