in some countries, more and more people are hiring a personal fitness trainer, rather than playing sports or doing exercise classes. What are the reasons for this? Is this a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent times, the trend of getting a personal
fitness
Use synonyms
coach is gaining popularity and more people are inclining toward it, rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
going out to play
sports
Use synonyms
of
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
do physical
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
.
This
Linking Words
is
due to
Linking Words
the hectic
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
of a person or his popularity, where he is not able to attend a gym or
sports
Use synonyms
ground and it should be considered as a positive development as it not only allows a person to stay healthy
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
Linking Words
create
oppurtunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
and
employement
Correct your spelling
employment
options for many online
fitness
Use synonyms
trainers. First of all,
Due to
Linking Words
security issues and a busy schedule most of the media and
sports
Use synonyms
celebrities are unable to attend
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fitness
Use synonyms
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
or perform
sports
Use synonyms
, so they
opted
Wrong verb form
opt
show examples
for a personal one
who
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
can not only cater
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
health
Use synonyms
needs but
also
Linking Words
provide personalized meal plans to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
extra weight and maintain their figure and keep them in shape.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many celebrity kids were way overweight
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
start
Add an article
the start
show examples
of their
carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
show examples
but with the help of a
fitness
Use synonyms
coach
Add a comma
coach,
show examples
they are now at
peak
Correct article usage
the peak
show examples
of their
carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
show examples
.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
Alia Bhut, daughter of famous
indian
Change the capitalization
Indian
show examples
scriptwriter and movie-maker
Mahesh
Change noun form
Mahesh's
show examples
butt,
looses
Correct your spelling
loses
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
few extra inches with the help of
Use synonyms
health
Correct article usage
a health
show examples
expert, who not only trained her muscles and abs but
also
Linking Words
provided her with vegan and
keto friendly
Add a hyphen
keto-friendly
show examples
options.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Due to
Linking Words
any reason if a
fitness
Use synonyms
or
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
is closed, the services of a personalized trainer will not be
Wrong verb form
halted
show examples
halt
Replace the word
halted
show examples
and many of them rose to fame
due to
Linking Words
online
fitness
Use synonyms
and training sessions and easy in-home
excercises
Correct your spelling
exercises
.
For instance
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
corona, when every institute was shut down, the lifestyle of an individual
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
sedentry
Correct your spelling
sedentary
, these trainers
helps
Change the verb form
help
show examples
the masses through their online
session
Fix the agreement mistake
sessions
show examples
and in-house visits,
thus
Linking Words
keeping us in our optimum
health
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
Health
Use synonyms
instructor plays a major role in the lives of those who are busiest of all, like Actors, Doctors and others in the ease of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
and it
also
Linking Words
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
employment options to those who are unable to instruct at gyms and
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
providing these services with the help of internet.
Submitted by mahambaqai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Clarity
Ensure clarity in expressing your ideas. Some sentences were a bit complex or had minor inaccuracies that made them slightly challenging to follow.
Coherence
Work on the use of linking words and phrases to make transitions smoother between your ideas and paragraphs.
Grammar
Proofread your essay to correct small spelling or grammatical errors, which can detract from the overall impression.
Depth of Argument
Try to expand your argument by exploring broader implications or contrasting viewpoints for a more rounded response.
Examples
Provided relevant and specific examples to support the main points.
Structure
Structured the essay with clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument.
Task Response
Successfully identified and discussed both the reasons for the trend and its positive impacts.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized workout plans
  • tailored
  • efficient
  • awareness
  • physical health
  • motivation
  • guidance
  • convenience
  • flexibility
  • exclusivity
  • status symbol
  • inaccessible
  • community engagement
  • social interaction
  • health outcomes
  • personal achievement
  • health-conscious
What to do next:
Look at other essays: