IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
According to
Linking Words
 a few people,
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 ought to
work
Use synonyms
 compulsorily for a charity, neighbourhood, or secondary and primary
school
Use synonyms
 students in high
school
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay completely agrees with
this
Linking Words
 statement because
teenager
Fix the agreement mistake
teenagers
show examples
 and
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 do not enter the wrong way after they are educated by
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 and try to
work
Use synonyms
 hard in high
school
Use synonyms
. On the one hand,
service
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
, which will
work
Use synonyms
 in high
school
Use synonyms
, can give children benefits,
for example
Linking Words
, if those teach students, children do not select the incorrect path because
Use synonyms
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 control them and
educate
Correct subject-verb agreement
educates
show examples
not
Correct pronoun usage
them not
show examples
 to become
such
Linking Words
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of people. Apparently, children can teach other people who are
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 wrong side.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, teenagers go ahead studying after educating them. To illustrate, one boy in the class understood the topic but he
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 fed up with learning
tha
Correct your spelling
the
 subject.
There fore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
show examples
,
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 can give them a chance to select
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 favourite subject and higher
score
Fix the agreement mistake
scores
show examples
 from
his
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 favourite subject because of the
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
. In conclusion,
community
Use synonyms
service
Use synonyms
 should
work
Use synonyms
 harder on
this
Linking Words
 project because they can prevent teenagers and
school
Use synonyms
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
to commit
Change preposition
from committing
show examples
 crimes and help
find
Correct pronoun usage
them find
show examples
 their own way in the world.
Submitted by i.nuraliyev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Your conclusion should summarize your main points effectively.
support
Support your main points with specific examples or clearer explanations to strengthen your arguments.
vocabulary sentence structure
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to make your essay more engaging and to demonstrate your language skills.
grammar spelling
Be mindful of grammar and spelling to maintain clarity and professionalism in your writing.
clarity position
Try to more clearly articulate your stance and the reasons behind your viewpoint early in the essay to guide the reader through your argument.
stance
You took a clear stance on the topic, which is good for task achievement.
organization
You attempted to organize your essay with an introduction and conclusion, which helps with the coherence and cohesion of your response.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: