The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
This
line chart illustrates the
number
of closing and opening
shops
in a country every year from 2011 to 2018. The closures counts are drawn by the straight line and
openings
Correct article usage
the openings
show examples
counts are drawn by the stripped line. There were some fluctuations
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
new
shops
and retired
shops
in those 8 years. But
overall
, we can see that there were
less
Correct quantifier usage
fewer
show examples
closed and opened
stores
at the end
of the graph, both slightly and greatly decreased. Closure of
shops
began at the
number
of around 6500
shops
in 2011. It was fluctuating until 2014. One year later, the
number
of shop
closure
Fix the agreement mistake
closures
show examples
dramatically dropped to under 1000
stores
.
Then
, it increased again to a few higher than 5000.
On the other hand
, shop
openings
were highest in the first data, which reached around 8500
openings
. It
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
declined in 2012 to slightly below the
number
of 4000
stores
opened. Advancement was happening two years later to 6000 shop
openings
.
However
,
then
gradually descended over the years and went to a
number
of 3000 new
stores
in 2018.
Submitted by azkalfath07 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 77%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, shops, openings, stores with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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