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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #years #time #people’s #lives #adult #life #happiness #spite #responsibility
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It is argued that
teenage
Correct article usage
the teenage
show examples
 years are the best periods because of the lack of things we have to do,
while
 others claim that
although
 it brings more duties, being a major brings more joy because they can decide by themselves and they have enough money to spend, and
this
 is why I think the best term of our lives are the times we are over 18. On the one hand, having almost no task to complete sounds peaceful to most of us because of the stress-free days we can enjoy.
Due to
 the fact that teenagers have nothing to do
rather
Correct your spelling
other
show examples
 than attending classes and doing
homeworks
Correct your spelling
homework
, they usually are happier than us. Take the
seratonin
Correct your spelling
serotonin
melatonin
 hormone release when we have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 tasks to achieve,
for instance
, it is proven that it is its maximum when we do not have to do things, and
childhood
Correct article usage
the childhood
show examples
 phase is the best way to experience
this
 easy way of living and
therefore
 be generally happy.
However
, I believe minors do not have
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 on hand to feel fulfilled in the long run.
On the other hand
, even though adulthood comes with areas to be responsible for, it brings pleasure to individuals because of the independence they have. By earning money and having no parents to explain everything, humans over 18 can engage
whatever
Change preposition
in whatever
show examples
 they want to engage, indeed with the limit of their duties. Doing the work they have to do and having recreational activities after it can help them increase the peace in their heart and the excitement level they have.
For instance
, having a weekend trip or attending a poetry class may bring happiness to individuals alongside the duties.
Therefore
, with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal income and freedom, I believe that grown-up time is the best era to enjoy ourselves and things we are passionate about. In conclusion,
although
 a task-free life
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 minors can bring pleasure to them, because of the limitlessness and
finance
Replace the word
financial
show examples
 opportunities, I believe the best period of our lives is the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
 when we are adults.
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Grammar
Review the use of articles ('a', 'the') as there are a few minor mistakes in their application.
Grammar
Watch out for pluralization errors, such as 'homeworks' which should be 'homework'.
Vocabulary
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to express ideas more precisely and avoid repetition, enhancing the overall richness of your argument.
Content
Try to provide more concrete examples to support your points. Specific instances or broader details can significantly strengthen your argument.
Organization
Keep practicing the development of ideas. Ensuring each paragraph contains a clear main idea with expanded explanations or examples makes your writing more compelling.
Structure
Your introduction effectively sets up the discussion with a clear thesis statement.
Task Response
The essay presents a balanced view before stating your own opinion, which meets the task requirements effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphs are well-organized with clear topic sentences that help structure your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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