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Band 3.5

In many countries traditional food is being replaced by international fast food. Some claim that this has negative effects on both families and societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #food #effects #families #societies
Food
 is the basic necessity of any mankind.In a
past paced
Correct your spelling
fast-paced
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society
Add a comma
society,
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one
 can get
enormous
Add an article
an enormous
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 variety of
food
 ,
of
Change preposition
from
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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different cultures and societies.In rural and urban areas
one
 can find traditional
food
 is being replaced with
the
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apply
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international cuisines because of
the
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apply
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modernisation and globalisation.
To begin
with
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with,
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 traditional
food
 is mainly associated with rural areas.Since agriculture is the backbone of
nation
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the nation
a nation
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 they depend on
the
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apply
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nutritious
food
 for
the
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apply
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work because they mainly work
on
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in
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 fields.
For example
: In most of the North Karnataka region
people
 in-take of
chapathi
Correct your spelling
chapati
 is massive which is purely prepared with the help of
millets
Fix the agreement mistake
millet
show examples
 which is really good for the health and which keeps away from any of the
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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 diseases. As we are moving from traditional society to modern society ,
one
 can witness that
people
 are
also
 changing their
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
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 and
food
 habits. Earlier
where
Rephrase
apply
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families
where
Correct your spelling
were
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 dependent on traditional methods of cooking and
food
 is being replaced with international cuisines. Even if they don't find it
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 restaurants
people
 try different
cuisine
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cuisines
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 at home where
one
 can learn through online
platform
Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
show examples
such
 as YouTube.
For instance
:Pasta and Pizza which
people
 find it different, tempt them to try
such
 scrumptious
food
.Which enable them to acquire western culture. On the other side of
this
 ,
one
 can witness that
due to
 the fast
food
 culture which is mainly international cuisine,
one
 can severely be affected with many hazardous health issue. There are more of disadvantages than the advantages.
Submitted by nandiniklakshman on

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Introduction
Consider strengthening your essay by including a clear introduction that presents your thesis statement. This will help clarify your position on the topic from the beginning.
Content Balance
Try to maintain a balance between discussing the negative effects and any potential advantages or neutral aspects of the shift towards fast food to provide a more nuanced perspective.
Paragraphing
Introduce clearer paragraph divisions to enhance the logical flow of your essay. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea, supported by examples or further explanation.
Conclusion
Incorporate a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in light of the arguments made. This will provide a clear closure to your essay.
Vocabulary & Grammar
Improve the range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your essay more engaging and to better express nuanced views.
Use of Examples
You effectively use examples, like the preference for chapathi in North Karnataka, to support your points about traditional food.
Understanding of Topic
The topic is relevant and you show an understanding of the implications of shifting from traditional to international fast food.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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