Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people，however，think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In
the
contemporary society, the prioritization Correct article usage
apply
to
economic Change preposition
of
development
has sparked discussions among invididuals
. Some contend that Correct your spelling
individuals
the
human Correct article usage
apply
development
relies drastically in
Change the preposition
on
upon
the
Correct article usage
apply
econimic
progress, whilst others argue that efforts should be focused Correct your spelling
economic
in
developing other aspects Change preposition
on
instead
of solely in
boosting Change preposition
on
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
such
as environment
sustainability. In my Replace the word
environmental
viewpoints
, both opinions hold their merits, Fix the agreement mistake
viewpoint
meanwhile
I maintain that Add a comma
meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
intergative
Correct your spelling
integrative
development
should be the prominent goal.
Upon initial observation, it is clear that
the
economic Correct article usage
apply
development
is the cornerstone of progression
of human Correct article usage
the progression
being
. We have no capacity Fix the agreement mistake
beings
in making
progress Change preposition
to make
neither
Correct word choice
or
elevating
our living standard without capital resources. As Wrong verb form
elevate
indicating
some regions or countries Wrong verb form
indicated
that
the enriched lead to Correct pronoun usage
apply
post-rich
and Correct article usage
a post-rich
the
stunning future, Correct article usage
apply
this
is why the majority prioritize the
developing the economy as the prominent goal rather.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, in spite of the undeniable importance of economic development
, the value of endeavors poured in other sides should not be overlooked, which in the long term, will benifit
not only the current society but Correct your spelling
benefit
also
the coming generations. For instance
, increasing awareness of purchasing environmental
Change the word
environmentally
freindly
products and renewable materials, Correct your spelling
friendly
following
by a myriad of Wrong verb form
followed
investment
dedicated Fix the agreement mistake
investments
in
the design and swiftness of industry, Change preposition
to
this
phenomenon obviously alleviate
the pressure of Change the verb form
alleviates
pollutions
. Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
In addition
, the budgets emplemented
in Correct your spelling
implemented
educational
realm will cultivate knowledgeable citizens, who get rid of ignorance Add an article
the educational
will
be more qualified Correct word choice
and will
in boosting
the Change preposition
to boost
progess
of civilization. Correct your spelling
progress
process
Therefor
, we could not aspire Correct your spelling
Therefore
the
progression Change preposition
to the
in
Change preposition
of
economy
at the cost of environmental sustainability and the adverse steps toward civilization.
To Add an article
the economy
an economy
summary
, as can be seen, what should we cherish is Replace the word
summarise
the
Correct article usage
apply
intergrative
Correct your spelling
integrative
development
instead
of certain sections, depite
of plethora Correct your spelling
despite
inmediate
returns we can gain from Correct your spelling
immediate
the
economic Correct article usage
apply
development
, if we ignore the effort in other realm
, in the long term, it will give us a daunting answer.Change the wording
another realm
other realms
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Language use
Work on enhancing the clarity and accuracy of your writing by focusing on grammar and vocabulary. Avoid overly complex structures that can lead to clarity issues.
Language use
Strive for a variety of sentence structures to demonstrate language flexibility and to engage the reader more effectively.
Content
Try to incorporate more specific examples and detailed explanations to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing and comprehensive.
Structure
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topic and your thesis, and that your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reiterates your opinion.
Presentation
Check for and correct typographical and spelling errors to improve the overall readability and professionalism of your essay.
Content
You've effectively discussed both views and provided a clear opinion, which is excellent for task response.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good attempt at logical organization and cohesion. The use of paragraphs to separate ideas is well done.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.