Art classes, such as painting and drawing, as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Education is widely recognised as a crucial tool for personal and social development . Education is the most powerful asset of a person . To Fully develop one should ace the academic subjects
as well as
extra subjects like art , music , karate and many more . The assertion seems pretty controversial . So communities believe that subjects like art and music are necessary
on the contrary
other folks vehemently discord with the notion . In the succeeding monograph, I intend to delve into the pros and cons
as well as
proffer examples to justify my assistance.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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Structure
Try to structure your essay more clearly with an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion to enhance readability and cohesiveness.
Content
Include more specific examples and explanations to support your arguments. This not only strengthens your position but also demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic.
Language Use
Work on using a variety of sentence structures and transitions to improve flow and cohesion between ideas.
Task Response
Make sure your essay directly addresses the prompt. State your position clearly in the introduction and consistently support it throughout your essay to improve task achievement.
Balance
You've made an effort to cover both sides of the argument, which is a good approach for this type of prompt.
Understanding
You've recognized the importance of a comprehensive education, which includes both academic and non-academic subjects. This shows an understanding of the broader context of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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