Nowadays, many people with families leave their country to work abroad. Do you think the benefits of this trend outweigh the disadvantages for the families?

These days people have the tendency to immigrate to other
countries
with their
families
for work. I believe
this
trend has more pros than cons. In my upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
and disadvantages of
this
scenarios
Fix the agreement mistake
scenario
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. To start with, by working abroad , people not only have more opportunities to work in
reputative
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reputation
repetitive
companies, but they can
also
earn good salaries by applying their knowledge and skills
into
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to
show examples
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
show examples
good companies.
Additionally
, they can easily meet
thier
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their
needs and can provide better living standards
to
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for
show examples
their
families
.
Consequently
, they don't have to take the financial burden.
Apart from
this
,
immigrant's
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immigrant
show examples
chilldren
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children
not only get chances to study in good schools, but they can
also
explore different cultures and
cusines
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cuisine
cuisines
.
As a result
, it eliminates the
cultures
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culture's
show examples
discrimination.
On the other hand
, leaving their
countries
for working
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to work
show examples
abroad,
isolate
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isolates
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people from their communities and culture as they have to adopt the culture of
that
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the
show examples
country where they are residing.
For example
, many
families
living in foreign
countries
like Canada, speak English, they have
isolated
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been isolated
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from their mother tongue.
Also
,
this
trend puts their back home's economy at
loss
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a loss
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as they invest their valuable money in foreign
countries
. In sum
up
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apply
show examples
, I would say
even
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that even
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though, moving to developed
countries
is a negative development, but brings more benefits to immigrant
families
by providing them
high
Change preposition
with high
show examples
living standards and opportunities to explore different cultures and languages.
Submitted by jassijaspreet153 on

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Introduction & Conclusion
Consider a more detailed introduction and conclusion to enhance clarity.
Coherence & Cohesion
Include more cohesive devices to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Support your main points with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
Content Balance
You've provided a balanced view of the advantages and disadvantages of working abroad.
Content Depth
Good effort in outlining the impacts on families and economies due to emigration.

Fully explain your ideas

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expatriate
  • remittances
  • cultural assimilation
  • expatriate community
  • economic disparity
  • cultural shock
  • social integration
  • professional networking
  • emotional resilience
  • transnational families
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