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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart gives information on the percentage of women going into higher education in five countries for the years 1980 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The data illustrate information about the percentage of female school-leavers going into higher education in many countries between 1980 and 2015
Overall
Linking Words
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and South
Korea
Use synonyms
 and France experienced an upward trend,
while
Linking Words
 Australia showed
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same percentage during the period. In South
Use synonyms
Korea
Add a comma
Korea,
show examples
 the percentage almost doubled. In 1980, in the UK school-leavers
rate
Use synonyms
 was approximately 34%. In the USA it
rate
Use synonyms
 was approximately 39%. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
 it
rate
Use synonyms
 was approximately 59%. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South
Use synonyms
Korea
Add a comma
Korea,
show examples
 it
rate
Use synonyms
 was approximately 15%. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
Add a comma
France,
show examples
 it
rate
Use synonyms
 was 50%. In 2015, in the UK school-leavers
rate
Use synonyms
 rose significantly reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 55%. In the USA it
rate
Use synonyms
 grew considerably reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 59%. In
Australia
Add a comma
Australia,
show examples
 it had
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 same
rate
Use synonyms
 in 1980. In South
Use synonyms
Korea
Add a comma
Korea,
show examples
 it increased dramatically to around 30%. In France rose slightly reaching
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 55%.
Submitted by tyfm925 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words korea, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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