IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that old buildings should be protected by law. Others, however, think that they should be replaced by new buildings. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #buildings #law
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These days, there are so many historical
places
Use synonyms
 have been destroyed to expand more residential areas.
However
Linking Words
, several
places
Use synonyms
 are
legarly
Correct your spelling
legally
 protected, so these cannot be demolished. Some argue that the legal requirements should be applied to keep the old
buildings
Use synonyms
while
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 others feel that rebuilding
shuld
Correct your spelling
should
 be allowed. In my opinion, historical
buildings
Use synonyms
 are significantly important because
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
 more
people
Use synonyms
 to visit these
places
Use synonyms
 and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 benefits.
This
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 essay
explore
Change the verb form
explores
show examples
 the reasons behind
this
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 and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 some examples.
To begin
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 with, I strongly believe that governments should not allow
people
Use synonyms
 to remove ancient
buildings
Use synonyms
. One of the reasons is that many historical
places
Use synonyms
 often have stories about how these were built. These allow us to discover the
histroy
Correct your spelling
history
 of ancestors and their unique culture. Another reason is that
people
Use synonyms
 are interested to see historical
places
Use synonyms
 and in many cases, these are famous tourist spots.
For example
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, Kyoto in Japan is one of the
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous
show examples
 tourist
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
 in the world because there are various historical
buildings
Use synonyms
such
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 as shrines and
templs
Correct your spelling
temples
templates
.
Therefore
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, there are lots of
people
Use synonyms
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
 the
places
Use synonyms
 every year and it brings a huge
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
 advantage for the country.
On the other hand
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, it is
also
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 important to replace some old
buildings
Use synonyms
 to implement
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new development in areas.
Firstly
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,
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
 population keeps rising nowadays,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
lack of housing is one of the issues. It
often
Add a missing verb
is often
show examples
neccessorily
Correct your spelling
necessary
 to knock down old
houses
Use synonyms
 to expand more residential areas.
Additionally
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, sometimes old
houses
Use synonyms
 can cause human disasters,
such
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 as earthquakes.
For instance
Linking Words
, there was a massive earthquake in Japan in 2009 and lots of old
houses
Use synonyms
 were destroyed.
However
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, after the earthquake, the
government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
show examples
 to
rebuild
Replace the word
rebuilding
show examples
new
Change preposition
of new
show examples
houses
Use synonyms
 stronger which cannot easily be damaged by natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
.
Hense
Correct your spelling
Hence
show examples
, old
buildings
Use synonyms
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
 be built for safety in
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
 cases. In conclusion, there are some advantages to
keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
 historical
places
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
 benefits
while
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 some disadvantages should be considered because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 risk of
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
 to the
buidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
building
. I think the advantages still outweigh the drawbacks and
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
 should not allow to replace the old
houses
Use synonyms
 easily.
Submitted by chia.8ee on

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Coherence and Cohesion
It's great that you've provided a clear introduction and conclusion that reflect your main arguments. To improve, ensure your essay flows smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task, presenting a balanced view and your own opinion clearly. For a higher score, aim for more elaboration on your points with detailed examples and explanations.
Task Achievement
You've demonstrated a good understanding of the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing relevant examples. This enhances your essay's persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay's structure is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes your arguments easy to follow.
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