Some people believe that old buildings should be protected by law. Others, however, think that they should be replaced by new buildings. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

These days, there are so many historical
places
have been destroyed to expand more residential areas.
However
, several
places
are
legarly
Correct your spelling
legally
protected, so these cannot be demolished. Some argue that the legal requirements should be applied to keep the old
buildings
while
others feel that rebuilding
shuld
Correct your spelling
should
be allowed. In my opinion, historical
buildings
are significantly important because
that
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
brings
Correct subject-verb agreement
bring
show examples
more
people
to visit these
places
and
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
benefits.
This
essay
explore
Change the verb form
explores
show examples
the reasons behind
this
and
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
some examples.
To begin
with, I strongly believe that governments should not allow
people
to remove ancient
buildings
. One of the reasons is that many historical
places
often have stories about how these were built. These allow us to discover the
histroy
Correct your spelling
history
of ancestors and their unique culture. Another reason is that
people
are interested to see historical
places
and in many cases, these are famous tourist spots.
For example
, Kyoto in Japan is one of the
famous
Correct quantifier usage
most famous
show examples
tourist
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
in the world because there are various historical
buildings
such
as shrines and
templs
Correct your spelling
temples
templates
.
Therefore
, there are lots of
people
visit
Wrong verb form
visiting
show examples
the
places
every year and it brings a huge
economical
Correct word choice
economic
show examples
advantage for the country.
On the other hand
, it is
also
important to replace some old
buildings
to implement
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
new development in areas.
Firstly
,
global
Add an article
the global
show examples
population keeps rising nowadays,
a
Correct word choice
and a
show examples
lack of housing is one of the issues. It
often
Add a missing verb
is often
show examples
neccessorily
Correct your spelling
necessary
to knock down old
houses
to expand more residential areas.
Additionally
, sometimes old
houses
can cause human disasters,
such
as earthquakes.
For instance
, there was a massive earthquake in Japan in 2009 and lots of old
houses
were destroyed.
However
, after the earthquake, the
government funded
Add a hyphen
government-funded
show examples
to
rebuild
Replace the word
rebuilding
show examples
new
Change preposition
of new
show examples
houses
stronger which cannot easily be damaged by natural
disaster
Fix the agreement mistake
disasters
show examples
.
Hense
Correct your spelling
Hence
show examples
, old
buildings
shoud
Correct your spelling
should
be built for safety in
same
Correct your spelling
some
show examples
cases. In conclusion, there are some advantages to
keep
Change the verb form
keeping
show examples
historical
places
such
as
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
benefits
while
some disadvantages should be considered because of
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
risk of
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
to the
buidings
Correct your spelling
buildings
building
. I think the advantages still outweigh the drawbacks and
law
Correct article usage
the law
show examples
should not allow to replace the old
houses
easily.
Submitted by chia.8ee on

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Coherence and Cohesion
It's great that you've provided a clear introduction and conclusion that reflect your main arguments. To improve, ensure your essay flows smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and phrases.
Task Achievement
Your essay successfully addresses the task, presenting a balanced view and your own opinion clearly. For a higher score, aim for more elaboration on your points with detailed examples and explanations.
Task Achievement
You've demonstrated a good understanding of the topic by discussing both sides of the argument and providing relevant examples. This enhances your essay's persuasiveness.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay's structure is clear, with a well-defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This makes your arguments easy to follow.

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