Some people believe that the development of artificial intelligence will make human labour obsolete. Others think that work performance by humans will always be important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is
common
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a common
show examples
belief that
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
performing
work
by
humans
will always be important.
However
, there is
more
Add an article
a more
show examples
persuasive argument that artificial
intelligence
will replace human labour because it is more productive and efficient
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
low
Correct article usage
a low
show examples
cost
. On the one hand, some people think that
work
performance by
humans
cannot be replaced by artificial
intelligence
because sometimes there could be an error not accurate. It is directly related to
humans
' safety so it needs to be supervised by
humans
.
For instance
,
recent
Add an article
a recent
show examples
study has shown that a radiologist is the one of jobs that can be replaced by
robot
Add an article
the robot
a robot
show examples
as it can handle
numorous datas
Correct your spelling
numerous data
.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even though
the artificial
intelligence
robot can do the radiology doctor's
work
, it should be supervised by
humans
as it can affect
patient's
Correct article usage
a patient's
show examples
life directly.
However
, I firmly
belive
Correct your spelling
believe
show examples
that artificial
intelligence
will make hyman
laour
Correct your spelling
labour
obsolete.
Thesedays
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These days
, there are so many processes replaced by robots and it works very efficiently.
For example
, Tesla, which is
a
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an
show examples
electric car company,
they have
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
many robots in
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
production process
instead
of
humans
. The robot's working speed is
absolutly
Correct your spelling
absolutely
fast and even the
cost
is much
reasonable
Correct quantifier usage
more reasonable
show examples
than
peoples'
Change noun form
people's
show examples
labour
cost
. Not only they can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
, but
also
they can produce more products at the same time.
To sum up
,
while
it is apparent that there is concern that artificial
intelligence
cannot do
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
work
, it is undeniable that
some day
Correct your spelling
someday
show examples
some of
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
labour will be replaced by robots
due to
higher production with
cost effectiveness
Add a hyphen
cost-effectiveness
show examples
.
Submitted by hmhy0326 on

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Task Achievement
Enhance your essay by ensuring a balanced discussion of both views before presenting your opinion. This will make your argument more comprehensive.
Task Achievement
Consider increasing the specificity and relevance of your examples to strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating a more distinct separation between your introduction, supporting paragraphs, and conclusion for greater clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve your grammar and spelling to eliminate minor inaccuracies and ensure clearer communication of your ideas.
Task Achievement
You have effectively demonstrated the ability to discuss complex ideas regarding the impact of artificial intelligence on human labor.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical progression of ideas throughout the essay shows good coherence and cohesion, making your argument easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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