Many people realize that people living in the 21st century generally have a better quality of lives than people born in earlier centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Quality of life is a subjective term which can measure happiness. It is believed that older generations of past centuries were comparatively less
happier
Change the word
happy
show examples
than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
today's generation of
21st
Correct article usage
the 21st
show examples
century. I fully concur with the given notion and
this
essay will highlight the backing reasons in support of my viewpoint in the subsequent paragraphs. The foremost reason is that the advancement in science and technology has helped doctors cure diseases faster. Since the medical industry has
touched
Verb problem
reached
show examples
the heights of success, medical issues can be determined easily.
Although
in previous times Ayurveda was prevalent to cure diseases by natural herbs, the people had died for unknown reasons. But the invention of antibiotics
such
as Amoxycillin has proved to treat bacterial infections to a great extent which in earlier times was nearly impossible.
Therefore
, medicines in today's era not only
curing
Wrong verb form
cure
show examples
diseases at
faster
Add an article
a faster
show examples
pace
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
people with lots of happiness.
Availability
Correct article usage
The availability
show examples
of modes of entertainment to revive moods is
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
another reason that adults are more joyful in
this
century. The invention of
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
has changed the way of enjoying our lives so youngsters
while
binging on
popcorns
Fix the agreement mistake
popcorn
show examples
, enjoy their favourite movies
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the comfort of their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
as there are plenty of platforms available on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
such
as Netflix and Amazon
prime
Capitalize word
Prime
show examples
which
provides
Correct subject-verb agreement
provide
show examples
hi-tech video and sound quality.
Also
, there are numerous pubs, cafes and amusement parks in almost every nook of the city where recreational activities can be enjoyed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals.
Thus
, the more the number of online platforms and fun parks, the more likely the people are going to
enjoy
Correct pronoun usage
enjoy them
show examples
.
To conclude
, it can be inferred that no doubt, today's generation is more full of contentment than the former generations.
Nonetheless
, it can be concluded that the discoveries in medicines and the invention of online entertainment platforms are providing immense satisfaction and cheerfulness to the masses.
Submitted by navkiranji on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction for a more direct stance on the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
Add more varied sentence structures and transitional phrases for smoother flow between ideas.
Body Paragraphs
Support your arguments with more diverse examples or data to strengthen your claims.
Conclusion
Ensure your conclusion succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your stance clearly.
Content
Your essay effectively discusses the reasons supporting your viewpoint, making a clear argument.
Examples
Good use of examples to support your points about advances in medicine and entertainment.
Structure
Structured layout with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!